Today I want to introduce you to my grandmother, Anna Marie Truelove. Sweet name for a sweet sweet lady (if she liked you.) I gave you a tad bit of information about her in an earlier post, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. She had a giant personality and left a legacy that will resonate with me forever.
My grandmother raised three children by herself. My grandfather, Grover (... don't worry, future husband, I'm not attached to it) passed away when my mother was a year old from a heart problem. Grandmother was one of nine children and had A LOT of brothers (I think that was why she was so tough.) She was always the care taker. When her siblings or her parents were sick, she always took care of them. She always made sure that loose ends were tied and that everyone had what they needed. She never really made it out to be a sentimental effort, it was just what she did. She surely was a good lady.
We all (the grandchildren) stayed with her when we were sick as kids. I'm not sure if this is a staple of their sick days at grandmother's house, but I certainly do miss those pan smothered greasy hamburgers and greasy fried french fries. As long as you're eating you're getting better, right? Southern ideology ...
I stayed with her a good bit when I was really young and she would take me back and forth to dance and piano lessons and made sure I was at all extra curricular activities that my mom had me involved in. After my various lessons, she would help me with my homework while she sat at her kitchen table and smoked (she was REALLY good at math.)
One thing that struck me as amazing about my grandmother is that she was able to have completely separately and equally as strong relationships with each and every one of us. She would tell me stories of Will and Isaac when they were little; about how COMPLETELY different they were, about how she and Will had such a strong bond and about how proud she was of who he had become (he WAS the first,) about how Isaac got lost in the woods and she went looking for him and when she found him he said, "well, I knew where I was the whole time!" Katie was the first girl, so of course she was perfect (and still is.) Elizabeth looked just like her daddy, which made her perfect by default. Charles Michael looked just like his mama, also making him perfect by default. And NONE of us were to call her ANYTHING until we could say "Grandmother." That is until Emily came along ... and then "Maum" became acceptable.
Each of her children held a special place in her heart. All completely different, they were all so special to her and it was apparent in the way she cared for them and for their children.
She never got mad at Katie and Elizabeth for digging in her make-up drawer while we were having our "runway shows" in which they would dress me up, make me over, and I would prance my little self all through the den for all to see.
Tolerance. As intolerant as she was against people that she didn't care for, she showered her family with tolerance and was there each and every time we failed. No matter what we did, we knew Grandmother would always be there.
During my years in college I lived with her off and on. Some of my favorite memories include her sitting in her chair and me in mine, eating mounds of ice cream while watching re runs of Law & Order, SVU. Now, some of you may have heard it being broadcast from her house because she definitely couldn't hear (much of anything) and went through earphones after earphones trying to find a pair that were loud enough for her to hear. It was a lost cause, but it made her feel better. We didn't say a word to each other, we just sat there in silence ... together. I think that's really what mattered to her. She wouldn't ever let anyone know that she was ever lonely, but I could always tell how much it brightened her day when friends would stop by or when her family stopped in. She was okay with being by herself, which I think is one of the big reasons that I'm comfortable with alone time now. She, in more ways than one, has shaped the woman that I'm becoming and I hope I'm making her proud.
She and my Memaw LOVED each other and they shared a favorite hobby, smoking. I can remember my Memaw riding home with my dad and I one Sunday afternoon because they wanted the chance to visit. Memaw had been made to quit smoking due to a health decision and when my grandmother asked her to smoke my Memaw said, "Well, I had to quit. But that doesn't mean I couldn't just eat one WHOLE right now." They shared a quick wit. I hope I inherit that.
I loved our outings to the hair shop, SAMs, Wal-Mart, Belk(s), Morrisons (where we always had a window seat,) the fabric store, the book shop (she LOVED to read,) to Food World, to Burger King (where her eyes were ALWAYS bigger than her stomach ... but man did she love her a big ol' Whopper,) and our late night outings to TCBY (~white chocolate mouse with walnuts~ where I would have to sneak and pay because she just wasn't having it.) My favorite memory is when she took me to the liquor store when I was four. Chill out, she just needed rum for her rum cake. I sure won't ever forget any of it and I will forever treasure those memories.
She gave great back massages and every time she did she would rub my face and point out my "tiny" nose. My nose is huge, bless her. She knew how bad my neck problems were and never complained or acted irritated. One night I was in so much pain and she could tell so she told me to come and sit at her feet so that she could massage my neck. " I wish I could take away all your pain," she said. Immediately the tears started flowing. I knew it was true. She only wanted the best for us.
The first time I ever saw her cry was when she was in rehab after her stroke. She wasn't crying from pain or because I hurt her feelings, she was crying because she was so upset that she couldn't do for herself all the things that she was used to being able to do for herself. Independence was her second middle name. That's the kind of spirit that I want to shine through me. That strong, independent, loving, caring, and determined spirit that she so well exuded.
During her passing I swear her spirit moved from her body into mine. I was living with her in her house when she passed and I know that a ton of people had to be praying for me because I continued living there throughout the fall of the year and never felt alone. It hit me that she was gone the first time I walked in the living room and sat in my chair and she wasn't in hers. I won't say it wasn't hard, but i will say that God put some of her strength in me to get me through that. What a tough season of life it was for all of us.
Now that I've babbled forever in a random maze of stories about that amazing woman, hopefully you were able to follow and gather just how great she was. So, on day 14, I dedicate this day of thanks to one of the most influential women I will ever encounter. Thank you for being yourself. Thank you for being what I needed exactly when I needed it. Thank you for being what you were for each and every member of this family. Thank you for never stopping the fight until the Lord called you home.
Tonight, through these flowing tears, I hope you know that I miss you more than you know and I'll never stop. I love you lady. And there's not a day that goes by that I don't wish you were here. I'll never forget you. Fly high, sweet angel.
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| Sportin' some Dolce & Gabana glasses that I brought her back from China town in New York. I still have them :) they're missing a lens. |
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