As I was writing my last entry about Gardendale I had my TV on but the volume was muted. I was watching Joel Olsteen. His smile makes me want to punch him right in the kidney. I feel like that he should maybe use pom-poms instead of a pulpit. He had been on TV for about an hour when I finished my blog. I thought to myself, "Lord have MERCY that man has a lot to say. Maybe I'll listen to a half second." I un-muted the television and he began to talk about things in your life and relationships in your life that are holding you back from living in a sold out manner to Him. Which, if you read my last blog entry, made me turn my head to see if somebody else was in the room playing a joke on me. "This can't be real life," I said out loud. Apparently I said it with quite a bit of exclamation because my dogs, Emma and Rusty (or, if you're my dad, Dingo and biggin',) looked at me like "Dude, Ma, what is your major malfunction?" I finished listening to Joel, otherwise known (to me) as the "Kelly Kapowski" of preachers and vowed to never again turn my nose up at a message from God even if I'm not entirely enthralled with the messenger. He speaks through the most unexpected. LISTEN.
That night as I prayed about various things, I prayed first for God to help me wake up and start my day not with anxiety or fear about what is happening in our country and I also prayed that God would help me figure out how to stay focused as I drive from office to office. I'm a pharmaceutical sales representative, I drive ALOT. It was revealed to me that night that I should listen to messages from pastors on the four million church apps that I've downloaded. "Dude, God, let's be real. I'm going to end up like that happy man I watched on TV tonight. And while we're on the subject, I feel like maybe you should strengthen his jaw muscles because when he gets a little older he might not have the strength to smile like that anymore and I would just really hate for his church members to be disgruntled by his lack of facial expression. If anybody could pull a jaw muscle, it's that man right there." I tend to talk to God like I'm His consultant but He very quickly puts me back in my place. Lovingly and gingerly, of course. "Ryn, stop watching the news and listening to talk radio and start listening to my word. I promise it will strengthen your walk and your faith and you'll see cool things happen." This was the first time over the past few weeks that God spoke audibly to me. It freaked me out.
The following morning as I listened to Pastor Chris at Church of the Highlands, the message was sent to me again. You can watch the message below, but to summarize: a.) stop dabbling in relationships that are moving you away from Christ, b.) the music that you listen to daily and the news you listen to daily and the conversations that you have daily can either move you closer to or away from Christ, c.) GET INVOLVED WITH A GROUP OF BELIEVERS THAT WILL STRENGTHEN YOUR FAITH, d.) just put it all away and follow Him. All of these messages were profound in so many ways. The day prior to my listening to this I had rededicated my life to Christ. As many of you know, when you decide to live for Christ and not for yourself, that's when the enemy inundates you with temptations. Temptations in friendships that are unhealthy, in what you listen to and surround yourself with. Satan will try to make you afraid of connecting with people and he will try his darnedest to make a liar out of you when you say, "Jesus, I'm yours and I'm no longer my own."
Pastor Chris' message was sent to me that morning. To let you know a little bit about the past few months of my life... I moved to Trussville (or China, if you're my Nana) on July 1st to take a job in pharmaceutical sales. God moved in a really neat way through this opportunity because it was time for me to make a career move and it needed to be urgent. Satan tried so hard to stop me. I was so afraid that I wouldn't be able to find someone to rent my apartment and I delayed the move for as long as I could and one day I just threw my hands up and said, "God! It's in your hands!" I moved out without someone to take over my lease which was going to be a huge financial burden ... at 4:55 pm the day I moved out a precious man signed the lease on my apartment and I was released. He needed to move to the area and I needed to move to Trussville. It was perfect. Once I moved I embarked on a journey that I quip-ply titled "The nomadic Protestant adventures." I journeyed from church to church until I had visited nine different churches. Long story short, I now go to three different churches physically four nights a week and I visit two other churches every day via various iPhone apps as I drive from office to office. Needless to say, I have a problem with commitment. I've also been TERRIFIED of finding a singles group to become involved in. "What a weird thing, " I thought to myself, "won't people think that I'm just going to try to find a husband? That's not AT ALL my mission." So I've avoided it for months. And even when Pastor Chris said in his message to meet a group of believers to uphold you, I though "Yeah right, ain't gonna happen."
As I got back into my office (car) after a call, I checked my phone to see if I had missed any calls. I had missed a call and had a voicemail from the Gardendale Pastor thanking me for my blog and told me how much it blessed his heart. He asked permission to read it at the Wednesday Night Service. I have never felt more honored.
As I went through the day I listened to more messages from the "You asked for it" series on the Church of the Highlands app. The rest of them didn't speak directly to me, but I somehow knew that they had a purpose in my week. When I got home that night, I remembered that a girlfriend of mine had shared my blog on her Facebook page and I privately messaged her and thanked her for being my encourager. --Neat story, I only met her because I had to go to Mississippi for a training class with AT&T that was about to expire. In all the five years that I worked there, I never went anywhere other than Birmingham for training. She and I connected further on that day because she had to play "tour guide" to get me back to Tuscaloosa because the only road headed back from Starkville had been shut down. Come to find out, we went to the same middle school. Divine placement, that's what it was. -- She wrote me back and told me that my story about Mountain Man reminded her of the Beth Moore story about the man in the airport. I had never heard that story before so I watched it on YouTube and I'm now her biggest fan. That night as I was watching, The Lord spoke again. This time the message He gave me scared the living day lights out of me. He gave me a vision of what He wants me to do. I'm not ready to share it with you guys quite yet, partly because He's not ready for me to share but mostly because I'm still hoping He'll change His mind. Highly unlikely, I'm well aware.
I woke up the next morning with that vision heavy on my heart. "God, why is it SO EASY for me to share Olivia's story with the world but I can't bring myself to share my faith with strangers?" He spoke again, and this time it was harsh. "Because you cherry pick my scripture and you don't know the context of my word. You just found out last week why 'Jesus wept.' To be such an advocate for your Savior, you sure don't know much else about how I worked through the lives of people in the Bible. Don't you be a selfish Christian, Kathryn Anna Tomlinson. I didn't create you to be like that." ... How 'bout you tell me what's really on your mind, Lord? Lordy mercy, what a hard pill to swallow.
My Starkville friend called and talked to me about some things going on in her life. We talked for a while about her past and how those things are affecting her in her present state. The other two messages that I had listened to were meant for her. "Forgiveness" & "Biblical Parenting." We were both in awe.
I then shared with her the vision that God had given me and it almost took her breath away. "I had the same vision, Ryn. At the same moment."
I got ready that morning and headed out for work. I had called on a few offices when my car beeped at me with a message of, "oil change required." And, of course, like any other girly girl with no knowledge of car mechanics, I freaked out and thought the car was going to blow up and I was going to go down in flames with it. (It was then that I started being a little more open to this vision He had given me. "LORD I PROMISE I'LL LISTEN JUST PLEASE LORD DONT LET ME EXPLODE!")
I found a Firestone and went in. I sat in the waiting area next to a lady who, after three times trying to speak to her with no reply, I determined was either BLATANTLY not interested in conversing with me or had hearing problems. The lady across the room had been sitting there for MAYBE 15 minutes and had changed the channel on the TV 53 times at the very least. I thought to myself, "Lady, I sell an ADHD medication, I'm going to need for you to follow me when we leave here." The three of us shared space in that waiting room with a man who I was SURE didn't speak a lick of English and if he did, he sure wouldn't understand this thick southern drawl.
He spoke again. "Tell them. Tell them Olivia's story." ... "Well, Jesus, I just hate to tell you this. But no." We fought. I put my earphones in my ears which is strange for me because I don't ever meet a stranger. Ask Wendy at Gardendale First Baptist, I will talk a blue streak to total strangers. I tried to ignore Him. Ineffective.
Finally, the queen of the television controller stop changing channels. I didn't understand why she stopped because a commercial was rolling. May she was just interested in buying herself some Selsun Blue. I couldn't wrap my brain around it. Suddenly, when it wasn't even time for the news to come on, Olivia's picture and information of her memorial service played on the random channel that the lady had decided to stop on. Real subtle, Big Guy.
As I began to share her story the two people that I knew wouldn't be able to hear or understand me were called to the counter because the service on their cars was complete. Which left the little old lady who, to have seemed so Inattentive earlier, was totally zoned in on me. I shared Olivia's story with her and she told me that it blessed her heart so much. Before she left she, without any information about my relationship or marital status (because we didn't discuss it,) told me that she would be in prayer that God would bring an amazing and encouraging and Godly man into my life because I was just "so well put together, well spoken, and precious." Bless her, she has no idea. But OH how that blessed my heart.
The next night was Wednesday night and time for the Oasis service at Gardendale. I walked in not knowing anyone and sat in a different area that I had the past two times I had visited. The pastor called my name before he read my blog. I waved and everyone turned to look at me. I'm certain that, at that moment in time, my hair and face were similar in color from my embarrassment. He read the blog with so much personality and gave it the coolest life. The story that I wrote came alive to me in that moment and I wept. Wow, God. You're such a cool guy.
I sat there thinking, "I've been so reluctant to meet people in this new town and it's almost like God said, 'Well, if you're not going to do it yourself I'll just do it for you." Lord, I know you're listening, and I would just like to say that your sense of humor was a shining light last Wednesday night. I had no intention of Pastor Kevin even reading the blog when I emailed it to the church. I figured the email would get lost I the abyss, but instead it was read to the multitudes. Thank you.
10-02-13 Oasis from GFBC on Vimeo.
As I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs, I struggled with my belief and faith for along time. Pastor Kevin preached that night on how we all have to come to our own faith and not just rely on mom and dad's faith for all our life. We have to come to an identity in faith. Such a cool message to be shared with the one who apparently inspired the message with her blog when he didn't even know that I had struggled with that.
As I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs, I struggled with my belief and faith for along time. Pastor Kevin preached that night on how we all have to come to our own faith and not just rely on mom and dad's faith for all our life. We have to come to an identity in faith. Such a cool message to be shared with the one who apparently inspired the message with her blog when he didn't even know that I had struggled with that.
I went to the altar and prayed as the service was being closed in worship. It's very rare for me to pray at the altar, not because I have anything against it, but I just feel like Jesus and I can get done what we need to get done from my seat. As I rose from the altar and started for my seat, I was stopped by a lady. "Are you Ryn?" ... "Yes ma'am." ... "I'm Mrs. Willadean. My granddaughter's middle name is Olivia and she is moving here and I figure y'all could be friends. Her first name is Whitney." ... Chills. The only way I knew about Olivia Mills' story was through her sister that I graduated with, Whitney. I gave her the biggest hug, thanked her and returned to my seat.
The service ended and I gathered my things. I was getting ready to leave and every lady in that church came over and hugged my neck and thanked me for writing my story and sharing it with the church. Wendy, the pastor's assistant, came and introduced her self to me and spoke with me briefly. As we were talking. Another lady approached me to thank me. She asked, "Are you single?" ... "Yes ma'am." ... "My daughter and her husband are the singles ministers. Let me introduce you to them." ... There He goes again introducing me to people because I won't introduce myself.
I met the Moody's who were SO sweet and invited me to prayer with the singles group. I thought, "Oh dear, that'll be so awkward. Praying with all these people I don't know who probably think I am so weird for writing this blog," I thought to myself. I told them that I was going to meet the preacher and that I would be downstairs in a bit. I thought I was going to get out of it because clearly they would already be done by the time I got done visiting with the preacher and I could just conveniently not find them and leave to go home. Y'ALL I LIED IN CHURCH.
I went to meet the preacher who had left to go get a book for a new believer (YAY!,) and waited on him to return. The person that walked through the door was not the pastor but the girl I had met on Sunday as I was waiting on an encourager to speak with. Something told me not to say anything to her. Another lady found me that morning and as we walked to find a place to sit down, this sweet girl apologized for not speaking to me and I could tell it weighed on her heart really heavily. As soon as I saw her walk through the door I grabbed her and said, "There's a reason we didn't talk on Sunday!" She appreciated me letting her know and said that it had been weighing on her heart all week that she didn't speak to me. She had been hoping that God would let us meet again on Wednesday night but didn't think I would be there. Laura, God heard you! And he introduced me to you himself because He clearly knew I was going to be shy.
The preacher came over and I was able to meet him and chat for a few. Afterwards, Laura and I were walking out of the worship center and she says, "Hey! We all get together and pray after the service on Wednesdays after the service. Will you come?" More evidence that He gets what he wants. I went to prayer that night even though I fought it tooth and nail, and I'm so glad I did. I met a group of young women that night that have shown so much love and support and kindness to me and they don't even know me. God knew what group He wanted me to be with and He orchestrated our meeting perfectly.
After prayer, the group invited me to O'Charley's for free pie. Laura, the girl who brought me to meet the group had decided not to join them at O'Charley's and I was really tired from having traveled all day and had decided not to go when a precious few girls came up and introduced themselves and asked me to join. I gave in and went for pie. Before I walked in I was told that the group loved their waitress and really wanted her to start coming to church. I walked in and sat down with them. A guy named Jake asked the waitress if there was anything that we could be in prayer for. She told us that her godson was going to be having a bone marrow transplant the following that and that his mother was pregnant and struggling with addiction. Such a crazy meeting for us, because someone that I love dealt with an addiction and went to one of the only rehabs in the state that specializes in assisting expectant mothers overcome addiction. I shared with her about the rehab and she opened up to me and the rest of the group about things that were hurting her heart. She has absolutely no idea how much just meeting her filled my spirit. I was overcome by Him.
The following night I went to Tuscaloosa for Olivia's memorial service. The strength and boldness that Olivia's parents showed as they spoke shook the room. There had to have been close to 150 people that met Christ for the first time that night and publicly declared their decision with raised hands. I was able to finally meet the sweet girl who had been writing the blogs about Olivia that made their way through 84 countries and reached over 500,000 people in the span of 12 days. I was able to introduce her to the family, which was so cool. Each family member met her separately and each one had the same reaction, "WOW, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!" Stacie Holland, thank you for allowing Him to use you. You have blessed my life.
As I was leaving the service that night my mom called. She told me that she had had a vision of me in the future. Her vision was the same as mine and my Starkville friend. I had not shared my vision with either of them and they both shared with me that they had had the same vision. Eerily enough, the co-worker that I am shadowing in Dallas told me the same thing today. I'm pretty sure His mind is set.
I spent the weekend with my sweet family and rested up for a long week of travel. It was lovely.
Monday came with a vengeance. I was working in north Alabama about 3 hours away from Tuscaloosa and catering for a group of people. I never have my meals delivered but decided to have the meal delivered that day. The lady came in about five minutes after I got there and began to set up. I explained to her that I loved her restaurant because of how great they were when I purchased a meal and had it delivered to a family that recently lost their daughter in Tuscaloosa to a bad car wreck. She gasped. "Was it Olivia?" ... "Yes! Do you know her?" ... "She and my daughter were best friends and my ex husband is her youth pastor." We both cried and continued talking. I asked her if she had seen the picture of Mountain Man and explained to her that I was the one in the picture. More tears. Just then, a lady walked in and asked if we were taking about Olivia Mills. We told her yes. She then told us that a child she knew had received part of Olivia's liver. The entire staff was in awe. I hugged her neck and went by her store later to give her a card with my name on it so she wouldn't forget me.
I hope this entry has shown you just how cool God is. A lot of times we see Him as this rule maker and impersonal being when in fact He is exactly the opposite. You see, my prayer this week was that He would open my heart and my eyes to the things of Him so that I could watch how cool He moves. I have a lot of work to do before I can complete the task He has laid in front of me. But because of the events of this week I know that He will always work out the details.
I am forever falling in love with Him. 
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