#30DaysOfThanks Days 24 - 31 .... And 12-19-2014 #PROTESTS.

 This always happens. The week of Thanksgiving descends upon my unprepared self and my blog entries slip out from under me like a rug without a pad and I wind up staring at the ceiling thinking, "How in the world do I sum all THAT up?" But oh my goodness, Y'ALL. This past week. Ridiculous.

There wasn't a single day this week that I didn't get a chance to spend time with someone who means so much to my heart. The week was full of family and friends and love and joy and laughter. Spirits of friends past, present, and exciting future were in abundance and I can seriously only thank the Lord. He knew what my heart needed and He provided like a flood in the desert. The social stagnancy that had been plaguing my heart was remedied in the best way. The word "Thanksgiving" truly doesn't even come close to the emotions flowing from all the hidden places of my heart.

Besides all the lovely things that have happened to me, this vast world we live in has been experiencing an immense amount of turmoil and social divide this week and I would like to address it.
            First of all, to the Brown family: my deepest condolences for a loss that has torn your hearts out. May peace be given to you and yours. Unless someone has been in your position, they will never understand and I am so sorry that this will seem like a hurt people try to pretend like they relate to. Although the efforts of so many have come to you in numbers that I could never even imagine trying to count, you will still feel alone in your suffering. And my sentiments go out to you and others in the world who will suffer these hurts and cry so many tears. I pray your heart rests in the hands of the almighty and that He provides your soul with a peace and shield of safety that no soul could ever understand. Know that my heart and my prayers are with you.
           Second of all, to the Wilson family: you never asked for mass chaos and never in your wildest dreams have you imagined this sort of upheaval would be a direct result of actions taken by one of your own. Your safety and your hearts are in my prayers tonight as I pen this letter. I cannot imagine your position. This could have happened to anyone, but it happened to you and I pray for peaceful thoughts and a shield to inhabit the area around your family as the angry people who rise up against you and threaten your family attempt to unleash beasts you've never imagined in your wildest dreams.

There, those deserved to be addressed first if I am to share any sort of opinion on the matter. The truth is this:unless some hidden camera from some hidden media present when the encounter took place, we will truly never know how everything took place, and that is a matter that stands alone in this entire endeavor. What we do know is that a life was lost and that is something that should never be diminished because of a "rap sheet." I am pouring into this entry from a heart that is in love with a Lord that erases fault and lifts high even those who have been in the lowest trenches. No amount of colorful back story is ever too much for Him. So stop with the "thug" talk. You're not doing any favors. What we need to realize is that there is a family that is hurting because they lost a heart that was dear to their own. And whether or not you want to subscribe to the same spiritual values that I hold dear, I would hope that you believe in absolute change being a possible thing and that you hold on to the hope that even the most absurd situations have the ability to turn around. I'm not arguing that the outcome was deserved or not based on what happened that day, what I am pleading for is for the masses of people who are using the word "thug" to justify death to stop. The more you perpetuate that hate (because that's exactly what it is,) the more you demoralize the people in this world who have an immense amount of potential. Wouldn't you hate being the reason someone didn't turn their life around? Your words and your ideals are powerful, understand that and move forward with graceful hearts that speak life into the hearts of those who may be in a rough place in life. It could be that all they need is for your encouraging sincerity to be genuinely spoken into their life. Make the choice that will resonate with positivity and hope.

As for the peaceful protesters, let them speak what is on their minds if they chose to do so in a manner that isn't harmful to others. Why? Well, why not? Maybe you don't agree with their protests, but maybe there's more to what they feel needs to be heard than just what happened to Michael Brown. The truth is, there really is a social divide and to speak for myself ... I would never understand some of the struggles that happen in certain societal arenas. Whether it be a community of a Hispanic majority or an Asian majority or an African American majority, there are things my heart has never experienced and therefor can't adequately relate to. But because of the beauty of America and the freedom it offers, I am free to demonstrate about the things dear to my heart in an effort to bring the attention of the masses to an issue that they may not see in their little corner of the world. The reality is that if it isn't your struggle, it's difficult to grasp it's impact and understand the depth of it's power. There's more that is being protested than the death of a citizen, and just because you don't understand doesn't mean you should extend your thoughts of disapproval. And FOR THE LORD'S SAKE, let the "Hey, while you're busy protesting, I'm paying your bills. How about you go get a job" talk stop RIGHT NOW. How pompous. You don't know the first thing about these people and their job situations and that blanket statement is more harmful than you will ever imagine. But I guess that's the nature of this beast, right? Because when you decide you've been dealt a hand that isn't fair and decide to stand up and fight it with your own peaceful protests, you will do it with the knowledge that opposition awaits. And you will forge on, regardless.

Now to the violent rioters who have done nothing but perpetuate an ideal that "thugs will be thugs" or "criminals will be criminals," I know that your heart has felt hurt before and I cannot seem to wrap my brain around the notion that you would want the rest of the world to feel pain even though they are innocent bystanders and have erected a business or a home or a church or parked their car in a zip code that you just so happen to be ready to destroy. My heart hurts so badly for these people who have been the victim of this violence. I would never wish for the same hurt to descend upon you and your family, but I do hope that at some point you are put nose to nose with the pain you have inflicted on your victim. Maybe you have been the victim of heartless police violence or indifference, and believe me I know it happens, but I beg you to please consider how much different the outcome would be if you simply chose to stand between violence and it's victim rather than further tighten the shackles that violence so unapologetically places on it's victims. You have the power to instate change. Will you use it for good? I pray you do.

Racial divides have been so furthered by this situation and it BREAKS my heart. Because here's some truth for you: I DO NOT CARE WHAT THE COLOR OF YOUR SKIN IS OR THE COLOR OF YOUR BACKGROUND, IF THERE IS AIR COMING IN AND OUT OF YOUR NOSE, YOU HAVE AS MUCH POTENTIAL AS THE NEXT PERSON TO GO OUT INTO THIS WORLD AND DO AMAZING THINGS. I am SO on a soapbox about this. Please know that the environment into which you entered this world is not the lot you have to stay in forever. Please, for your future's sake, don't buy into the victim mentality. You may be a soul born into a situation that is less than desirable, but I believe that you are only a victim of your situation if you label yourself as such. You might feel like you are being pushed back at every turn and for no other reason than the color of your skin or the length of your rap sheet, but I urge you to press on with all the power in your soul to be the positive change you want to see in this world. I believe with all my might that you are a child of the King and that He gifted you with specific "you" gifts that no one but you can use. I pray you find the strength to execute them in the face of all adversity and I pray you know that the power of the Almighty is with you. And understand that I know some of your reading this aren't believers in the same Christ that I adore and there will never come a time that I will force my beliefs down someones throat, but that doesn't change my prayer.

As I sat in worship this morning at Passion City Church, surrounded by individuals of five different ethnicities, I thought to myself, "This. This is what heaven will look like. All the people are God's people." Guys, it's time. It's time to stop letting the enemy in opposition of progress halt the wonders of what can be accomplished simply by placing blinders on us and making us think that we could never live in peace together.

My hope is that you heard nothing but grace come flowing forth from my heart as you read this, and that the entirety of this message lacked judgement. I hope it compels you to be mindful and instead of spewing hurtful opinions, you instead make a choice to put good things into the world. And I hope that when the time comes for you to take action, I hope you step forward in the direction of grace.

#30DaysOfThanks Days 21,22,23: "Gone away is the blue bird..."

It all started Friday. I was Rocky and I was in the ring with myself. One loose end after the other seemed to stare at me with eyes like shards of glass that sliced me with every effort I made to tie them. I looked in the mirror and thought to myself, "How ridiculous are you? Why can't you just get a system and stick to it and just be regimented and on a schedule and do all the things in a day that you should be able to do? You're so easily distracted by the insignificant things in life. Why can't you just keep your eyes on the prize??? SHEESH. Pull yourself together." Basically, I wanted to be super woman but what I saw in the mirror was a pitiful excuse for a 27 year old. I had all these ideals in front of me that I wanted to fulfill, but the wretched girl I saw in the mirror wanted to curl up into a ball and fall asleep and wake up when it was all over and somehow have experienced massive life change in my sleep. Ugth, AND ON A FRIDAY. Why??

I went home and penned this: "The main emotion I felt today was frustration and I felt it toward myself. But I know that today's irritability and mirror mumblings of "hey self, get your ish together" have served a larger purpose and that is this: Moving forward, I will work harder towards organization and structure in certain areas and vow not to beat myself up over a few "stray hairs," because self appreciation is what catapults us into the future ... not the belief that we aren't good enough."I had planned to blog about it that night but I somehow felt that I shouldn't because I felt that this story wasn't finished, and THAT made me want to cry even more. Instead, I made a to-do list for Saturday (in an effort to stitch this life together) and set out for a night under the stars in Odenville, Alabama with soup and a movie and a really lovely group of friends.

I cooked, we ate, we saw stars, we movie watched and then I drove home. I had been in bad need of that sort of chill around other people. Blue jeans and cowboy boots and giant sweatshirts and people who don't give a rip about what you look like, they just want you around. A lot of people in my life are this way, not just this group, but something about this place and these people soothed my spirit in a way that it otherwise was in unrest. I left that night and made the thirty minute drive home and discussed with myself what it was that was really going on in this heart.

 Expectation.

My own expectations based on the expectation of others. For example: sometimes, I really want to leave my dogs in the backyard because they make EVERY STEP I MAKE while they're inside and I can't get anything done. But I don't because I'm afraid the lady next door (who is really kind and keeps them for me for free when I am out of town) will judge me for "leaving those poor babies on the porch." I have reason to think that she would judge me for something like this because this is the same lady who called one night to ask if my dogs could just go ahead and live at her house. Don't worry, I put as much distance as possible between us at that point without ruining the relationship. I don't mean to be ugly about her, she's just home a lot and she's like the lady on Bewitched who stares through the blinds to see what's going on in the neighborhood. It's stressful thinking that your every move is being watched. I did, however, leave both dogs outside when I left the house several times this weekend and it was so nice to come home to a serene home where a giant lab wasn't busting down the door as soon as you walk in and the dingo in the crate in the corner wasn't barking and clawing to get out. I love them more than anything, but I feel about them the same way Carrie felt about Aiden living with her ... I just need my time when I first get home to gather my thoughts and finish the unfinished business from the day. It's just how my brain works. I'm not sorry about it and I've decided that I have to operate in ways that are conducive to a healthy life for Ryn, not the lady next door.

The more I thought about how rough Friday was, the more strange it became to me that I received the most wonderful complements from business partners and management leaders this week. People who I imagine to always have it together on a level I could never get to, reached out to me throughout the week to tell me how talented and well respected and highly thought of I was. "Who in the world are they looking at?," I thought to myself. "What do they see that I don't see?" People who I only WISH I could be as regimented as are the very same people who write texts of encouragement to me talking about how they think I'm such a "natural" and that they're so glad I am on their team. I wish I saw what they were so impressed with, I wish I could see me through their eyes of grace. But last Friday, my eyes were eyes of judgement and belittlement. I am so thankful that these wonderful people saw fit to grab hold of the wonderful things that they saw in me and tell me stories about what they see in me. Still in my mind all I'm doing is being Ryn and doing my job the best way that I know how. There will never be a day that I don't give this job 110% of myself because it's my passion to tell physicians about the amazing changes in medicine so that patients all over this little part of our giant world can experience the life change that comes along with it. The opportunity to impact lives is vast in my career, why would I EVER take that for granted?

 Saturday was very productive and I give all the glory to the to-do list I created Friday night before I went on my little country outing. I crossed off all the things on my list and felt more productive that I have in a while. I really don't know why I haven't felt productive, I saw 15 doctors on Friday. That's a lot of dang doctors. I got everything done that I needed to do and still somehow managed to go to a movie and then out with friends later in the evening. Saturday felt good, but I was still beating myself up for some strange reason and I couldn't wrap my brain around it. I needed liberation from my own self-doubt.

And then Sunday, lovely Sunday. I woke up in just enough time to make make-up and straighteners happen, threw on my boots, jeans, and a cute shirt and jacket and made the little drive to Church of the Highlands to meet my lovely friend and business partner. The series is "At the Movies" and today's movie was an edited version of "Captain Phillips." It was a real depiction of the enemy and the war he wages against our hearts and of what we can overcome because "We aren't fighting for victory, we are fighting FROM A PLACE OF victory." What a difference that makes. We were reminded this morning that the enemy is real and he's a giant jerk and he wants us as unhappy as he is and he fights tooth and nail what he doesn't like. There are some big things happening in my life right now and it wasn't until this morning that I realized that my spirit has been under attack this entire time. But think about that scheme ... he knows the opportunities at stake and he might even know what might happen if they come to fruition and since he can't really fight anything about the situation, why not attack the only thing that could really make this opportunity come to life in a very real way, my spirit? It was like the blind fold was lifted and I could see him for the ugly monster that he is and all the power in heaven was in me to press against him until he was completely out of the room. I opened my hands in prayer and as the pastor prayed over us, a warm pressure filled the palms of my hands so much so that I couldn't close them. It was surreal and so real at the same time. What a reminder that when our hearts are focused on the One who has already overcome, every battle we face against the evil schemes of the enemy can be easily won. And the more I thought about it the more I realized that He's been in my court this whole time, I just haven't been in His. My focus has been on things that I need to get better at and what I need to do to move forward, instead of consulting with the One who already holds my future in the palms of His hands.

Today was a beautiful day of liberation and it holds so much promise for the days ahead. What I hope you get from reading this is that other people deal with the same mirror mumblings as you and that the enemy attacks everyone, not just you. You aren't alone in the physical world, but you're also not only "not alone" in the spiritual world ... but moreover, you're cradled in the arms of a loving father who wants more than anything for you to succeed with all the gifts that He has bestowed upon you. He wants you to know that the weapon He offers against the nastiness of the enemy is really the only one that will ever be able to erode away at the devil's power. I want you to know that when it's time to rest in His goodness, you're allowed to. But when it comes time to suit up in the armor of the almighty, it's available to you and nothing can penetrate it. You are a loved person created with a purpose and I hope you leave this blog with the inspiration to overcome and I hope you stand strong in the knowledge that you are never alone.

#30DaysOfThanks Day 20: Maturity means ...

I had the most wonderful conversation today with a new friend. We were discussing life changes and what has come with them. There were more changes that had occurred than she had ever imagined and we were discussing how she had handled them. It was an involved conversation. 

We went over situation after situation and always brought the conversation back around to the positive. What's lovely about working through life's rough stuff isn't just the outcome, it's the process. What the process brings us is sometimes more valuable than the outcome. Through it, we learn so much with regard to ourselves and how we respond to life's challenges. We have the opportunity to develop our decision making, argument skills, and our discernment. 

With maturity comes the understanding that not every statement or action deserves a response. My friend and I chatted about this and she said something I'll never forget. "A lot of times when we respond to the inevitably mean and purposefully hurtful junk, it somehow validates it or condones it." ISN'T SHE BRILLIANT? 

Understand that you aren't required to respond to the mean and dirty things that people say. Don't give people the satisfaction of knowing that they got to you. Hold your head up with grace and dismiss evil like the insignificant thing that it is. You deserve a productive life and there will always be a force that works against you. But if you fight against the evil force with your dedication to live a grace filled life, you'll chip away at space it's (evil) allowed to fill in your heart.

Tell evil to take that fuss on the bus. #BYE  

#30DaysOfThanks Day 19:Productivity & Emplementing Strategy

Today's entry will be short in an effort to prepare for things coming my way. But I want to take some time tonight to rant about the importance of doing what you say you're going to do. If you come up with an idea that you think will work wonderfully in moving your life forward, implement it. Stick with it for a bit of time, analyze to see what sort of productivity comes as a result of your actions, and regroup and reload to go forward.

I have seven business partners and it is VITAL that we have a very high level of comunication. For weeks we have toiled over exactly which way will be best for us to communicate and continue moving bsuiness forward. We have come to an agreement and are now working as a well oiled team and looking so forward to the future.

Let me guess, you sometimes think of wonderful ideas and struggle with sticking to them. I get it. It's human. Since I began my career in pharmaceutical sales, the significance of consistancy has revealed itself to me in a very real way. It builds credibility and trust with clients and it instills a serious confidence in your ability to be disciplined ... and discipline is it's own subject.

While being free spirited and "flying by the seat of your pants" both have their place in the world, discipline is what really helps to move life forward in a positive direction. Because the way I see it, there are two ways to do things. Let's say we are given a starting point and an end point. Waiting at the end point is a pot of gold and you can either put one foot in front of the other and run as fast as you can and get to the pot of gold before the competition, or you can run in circles with no goal in mind and just get there when you get there ... if you get there. While you might enjoy the view if you're running in circles, your competition will be enjoying their earnings. Don't let anyone take from you what is rightfully yours. 

Set a goal. Make a plan. Stick to it. Move forward. Just do it. And watch how quickly your results come.

#30DaysOfThanks Day 18: Rolling Bags

I've been suffering through toting a bag full of samples and an iPad and folders and the like all over Alabama in and out of offices. I was always carrying only the things required for my job but my shoulders were killing me. Two of my business partners have this one rolling bag that holds all of our things just perfectly and I've been envying it since I was introduced to it two months ago. It's the perfect size, the perfect weight, it's monogrammable (yes this is a big deal, I'm southern,) and it's still professional enough to take in to my offices without them thinking I'm bringing in my overnight bag to set up a tent and camp out in their office all day. It's perfect and it was only $30 at the "Let's Get Organized" store in Homewood (no this is not a paid advertisement, I just have friends in pharma that may read this and need to know where this elusive "perfect" bag is.)

What perplexes me is the fact that I've known about this piece of magic that would alleviate such a constant annoyance and source of pain for two whole months. I've known exactly where it is and I've known exactly how much it was. Neither the location or the price hindered me from going to get it. So what was it that kept me from doing this for myself? Stubbornness. I wanted to prove to myself that I didn't need a bag that rolled or assisted me in any way. I'm a big girl. I could deal.

And then today, after one of the most productive days I've had in a long time, I folded. Like a perfectly creased napkin, I folded ... like it was my job. I was in so much pain and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I couldn't keep going like I had been. (Let me pause to also announce that I have a subluxation degeneration in my spine. Just so the masses know that I'm not a total wimp.) I took myself to the store and spent the thirty bucks on my ever so lovely and light weight new office companion.

I'm thankful today for this perspective. We carry around a ton of unnecessary junk in our hearts and on our minds that weigh us down and hinder us from being at the top of our game. It's unnecessary for us to carry all of this around because we've not just been offered a place to leave it for the time being, we've been INVITED to GIVE our problems and struggles to Him permanently. That's a love that I can't really wrap my brain around. It doesn't make sense. But then again, love that looks past faults, forgives wrongdoings and wipes slates clean when the most horrendous things have been committed towards Him ... none of it makes much sense. Luckily He doesn't ask us to figure Him out, He just asks us to let go.

Because there's a God that made all the things. And the same big God that made all the things is concerned with the nature of your spirit and wants you to know that you are loved beyond measure. In so many ways, He has shown this desire throughout history. He pleads with us to lay things at His feet and to trust in His ability, yet we struggle with that. We have this notion in our brains that we somehow "know better" than He does. And to put it bluntly, that's mighty arrogant of us; to think that we can figure things out in a more efficient manner than the dude who breathed it all into existence. I'm not in the business of belittling the struggle that we have letting go, but I do think this perspective is important in the grand scheme of things.

Eventually you're going to feel like you can't take another step. You'll feel as if a certain muscle group or cluster of neurons will simply cease to function. You'll want to cry and scream and beat your head against the wall but the energy wont be there. And even then, in the midst of your exhaustion, your maker will beckon you to rest in His arms. It's at this point that we seem ready to let Him in front of the wheel, when we could've done it months before. But God doesn't want you to feel judged or like less of a person because you had some issue with letting Him take over. He just wants you to know that He's there and He's love and He's capable and that you're His priority. Just let Him carry the load and don't ever ask for it back.

#30DaysOfThanks Days 16 & 17 : Reminders & Blessings

Writing is such a release for me. It helps me to prioritize my thoughts and work through the yuck and the lovely things that happen. Days like yesterday make it easy to get bogged down with the laziness and the loneliness of living in a town near not many of my friends. I was sick and puny and didn't feel like doing anything and all my friends were out galavanting with their loved ones and I was jealous. I sometimes feel like I live in a far away land and people only will know what is going on in my life if they read about it on my blog. Not because people don't reach out, but just because life things happen and distract us all from each other. But the beautiful thing about this life is that it's filled with people who accept the responsibility and opportunity of handling our yuck days by blessing our hearts with reminders. Reminders of how far you've come. Reminders of where your future is headed. Reminders of the things you've written in the past that are so applicable to exactly where you are in life at that very moment. The past two days have been so full of people coming from out of the woodworks to build me up and remind me of each specific movement that God has made in my life to bring me from where I was. So today I'm thankful for every one of you that reached out to touch my spirit with your love. Notice when God sends you messengers and be thankful for their perspective on your life. Accept your angels and don't close your heart to the things they have to tell you. <3

#30DaysOfThanks Day 15: Chasing Daylight

I was driving home this evening after some errands and noticed that I seemed to be racing against the clock or "holding back the darkness." I thought about it and realized that oftentimes in life we do the same thing with projects or deadlines. Life can get so busy and hectic for me and I'm 27 and single. I can't imagine what you lovelies with babies go through, but I'm certain that you feel this way more often than I do just with the sheer amount of stuff going on in your life. Many times as we fight to keep our heads above water or beat the clock, we can feel overwhelmed and not good enough. And sometimes, despite our valient efforts to win the battle, the sun sets on our troops. But tonight as I rode into the beautiful sunset, I realized that tomorrow is always another day. And if tomorrow doesn't come, then our efforts don't really matter because our kingdom will be near. Rest tonight in the knowledge that you are good enough. Dedicate your efforts to Him and allow Him to direct your steps. The one who invented priorities is pretty good at directing them for us when we ask.

#30DaysOfThanks Day 14: Real Tough Change

I took another day off work because this head cold situation is rocking my world, and not in a good way. I spent the majority of the day horizontal on the couch because I tried to do too much yesterday and that did me no favors. I have watched all 22 episodes of Blacklist and I now am so upset that I can't watch any of season two until sometime next year because I don't have cable and I don't know how to do technology things now that I no longer work for AT&T. (If you hold the keys to this magic, please enlighten me.) Other than binge watching fugitives catch and kill other fugitives all day, the only significant thing that I did was go to the pharmacy and help this little old lady at the counter with info on how to choose a new drug plan. It was uneventful.

It wasn't until this evening, when I saw a picture of myself that I wasn't thrilled with, that anything really tugged at me emotionally. One thing I struggle with in my life is my body image. It's been a struggle for me all my life. When I was in high school, I was involved in everything under the sun and was very active and thin. Through college and the ins and outs of figuring out this adult life and the differences at which each of us experience it, the struggle has once again reared it's ugly head. Please understand, I am writing this in an effort to identify with those readers out there who may be dealing with the same. I'm not certain if any of you wonderful people struggle with this, but I know it's nice for me to be able to read about a struggle that an author deals with and identify with it because it means I'm not the only one. Maybe that sounds terrible, like I'm wishing pain on others just so i don't feel alone in my dealings ... but that's not at all it. I hope to present myself in a real light in everything that I write. And that includes this very real struggle.

It doesn't own me. I think if you were to take a poll of the people who talk to me and meet with me on a daily basis, you would not get answers that have anything to do with my personal body image struggle. I'm confident in who I am and I love what I do, so I would hope that people would say that I exude a gracious confidence ... not a body image problem. This is something that I internalize and have for quite some time, but I feel that now is the time to confront it and be real about it with people so that maybe people can be real about it with themselves. An amazing friend of mine said these wonderful words to me tonight and it sparked a desire to change that may be the loudest thing that these stopped up ears have heard all day. He said to me, "I hope you can be a person on the outside that the person on the inside can be proud of so that you don't have to suffer the burden of a diminished self image." This friend wasn't agreeing with my complaints of myself, but he did understand that they were feelings that were real to me and I really thought that those were the kindest words he could've spoken (or typed) in that moment.

So I'm at the crossroads of what is likely to be a real tough change. And I'm certain that there are people out there who may someday read this and be at their very own change crossroad. Your impending change may have nothing to do with body image, but then again maybe it does. One thing we all need to get REALLY real about is that this is not going to be easy. As a matter of fact, at times things might be really tough. So tough, in fact, that we will want to throw our hands up in defeat and settle back in to our comfort zone. Let's be a people that lift each other up and challenge people not to stop going after their dreams. Dreams are dreamt for a reason, and we all have the power to make our dreams come true. If something is important to you or to a friend of yours, speak life into it! Encourage them! Lift people up! Change NEVER HAPPENS IN OUR COMFORT ZONE. We have to be willing to step out of our realm of was is comfortable to us to ever discover what is on the other side of our fears.

Part of my mission with this platform is to speak life and encouragement into the hearts and lives of the readers. But also, I'm challenging myself to break down my walls of rigidity to share with you my struggles. I tend to try really hard to put forth this idea that I have it all together. Recently I've had friends come to me and say things like, "You just get life," or "You just have it all together, don't you." And the answer is a resounding, "NO." I'm 27, single, and working in a career that I love and I'm out here trying just as hard to figure out life as the next girl. What's crazy to me is that people can see me and think that about me, while in my head I'm thinking "OH MY LORD HAVE MERCY, SELF. GET IT FREAKING TOGETHER." But comparison is a subject for another blog entry.

Know that the girl behind the keyboard struggles in similar ways that you do. Know that with the help of the almighty helper, we can all get through this, whatever it is. Know that I pray for you. And to take a line from my favorite, Mandy Hale, "Even if you don't know Him or love Him (yet.) I am praying you do. Or that you feel inspired to get to know Him. He's so wonderful. But even if you don't and you're thinking to yourself how you wish I would cool it with the spiritual ramblings ... know that I love you, too ... and I am always praying for each one of you. So God knows you even if you don't know Him, because I talk to Him about you all the time. :) Sleep well, my beauties ... knowing you are loved."

#30DaysOfThanks Day 13: The Soup Aisle

I was under the weather today so I stayed home to rest. I was home all day in a house with barely any food and kept noticing all the things that I didn't have and so naturally my stubborn, red headed self had to get out in the bitter arctic air and buy groceries. I was advised not to because I was sick, and that was likely the best advice he could've given me ... but my stubborness got to me and I went anyways and ended up at the doctors office gettings shots that I'm certain were filled with lava because they stung like they were getting paid to.

I had several things on my list to get but the main items on my list were items for soup. Who knew the soup aisle would be the most popular of all? Hellooooooo, DUHHHH Ryn, it's 12 degrees outside. People want chili in their belly. As I stood there in that aisle with what seemed like all the other women in Trussville, I watched people. As I observed all the people in their haste to get home and make said soup, I knew I had a choice. I could either chose to get entirely frustrated and leave the aisle only to come back later and fight yet another batch of hungry Trussville soup shoppers, or I could chose to learn from it.

I stood patiently as women pushed past my buggy to get to their chosen ingredient and I noticed the collective frustration of the group. As I gathered the ingredients of my WONDERFUL TACO GO-TO SOUP , I realized something. You see, each person on that aisle operated as though they each thought that they were the only frustrated one. They weren't rude, but the huffs and the puffs that they emitted painted a picture of irritation that was rich in color.
The truth of the matter was that each person was experiencing stress from the same situation. The levels of stress likely varied due to the external circumstances of the lives of those shopping, but this specific stress was of the same origin. And that happens in life so often. It's very easy for us to think that our situation is the most dire when we don't know what is going on in the lives of others. We all go through similar situations and I find it incredibly important for us to realize this especially as we head into the holiday season. Things are going to get busy. You're going to be late to some gathering or party and some random person is going to get in your way. Bear in mind that someone else is also in their way and that the circumstances of their life may be distracting them from making decisions that would be considerate of others. Be a person of grace, starting now.
Who knew the soup aisle could teach you so much?

#30DaysOfThanks Day 12: Impromptu Sushi & The Importance of Life

So today, November 12th, has rocked me. I don't really know how I'm going to put it into words. But here goes ...

I haven't talked to her REALLY since we danced our little fannies off at the Florida Georgia Line concert in June in Montgomery, AL where Nelly headlined. IT WAS A BIG DEAL AND I LOVED IT. She's my cousin, but more than that she's my friend. We've had a bond really since we were little. I can remember my aunt Karen telling me, "Ryn! Hannah LOVES you!" What a smile that painted on my heart. This precious baby who had no idea who I was, would place such hope and love in me ... when all she knew about me was what her little spirit could tell from my smile and my spirit. I've loved her since then. She's grown into this woman who is brilliant beyond any words I could ever put in sequence. She's beautiful. She's free. In every way. She's free with her love. She's free with her acceptance. She's free with her contagious laugh. But most of all, she's free with her encouragement and that made all the difference today.

I text Hannah this morning because I missed her and I really wanted her to join me this weekend to root on our beautiful Auburn tigers. She had other plans for the weekend, but she also had other plans for our conversation. "I read your blog when I get a chance and I really enjoy it." Blew me away. I have terrible grammar and I use commas all sorts of places where I am not supposed to and I'm sure she could pick it apart with a fine toothed comb because she's just that smart, but instead she spoke life into something I struggle with. I love this blog and I know the purpose of it and my inspiration will continue to be my precious readers, but it's hard to tell when it's really being impactful ... or when it's just me rambling on about my day that no one really cares to hear about. I thanked her profusely for her kind words and her response was this, "I really do think it's awesome! Someone needs to do it and I think that you're the perfect person for it because you're very open with your faith but it's not too pushy or radical so I think people could really be affected." I went on to tell that her my mission for the blog was exactly that. See, I need people to meet me where I am in life. Jesus does that. He does it everyday. It means I'm valuable to Him. He does it for everyone ... we are all valuable ... and above all else, I want to show the world that it doesn't matter where you've been in this life, your value has never changed and will never change. When we understand that without a shadow of a doubt and we accept what He's done, it changes us ... fundamentally.

"I'm stalking it as we speak. I love your rhetoric. It's very relateable because it's exactly how you would speak to someone but it still sounds intelligent. Ugh, I'm obsessed with you," she said. To which I responded, "I'm obsessed with you because you use words like 'rhetoric.'" We shared a laugh session and commenced to planning our holiday get-together. Afterwards, I reached out to one of my favorite aunts. I'm a firm believer that there isn't a soul on earth that has cooler aunts than me. You can't fight me on it. I will win the battle. That goes for Beverly, Julie, Josephine, Roberta, Maude, and of course, Karen. They are each uniquely their own and are all vastly different. Aunt Karen and I had a wonderful conversation and I left feeling rejuvenated. Rejuvenated because she loved me. I mean really loved me. How many times during the day do we spend time talking with people who only care about us a little bit and leave out the ones that love us fiercely? It's often. In these moments this morning, I felt like a part of something big. I felt my family surround me and lift me up and it was beautiful.

I realized today that I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people. I miss my family fiercely, but don't put forth enough effort to stay in touch with them. I'm sorry, family. That will change.

I spent a few hours this afternoon in a Haleyville office where I have gained friends that are just really the best. They always encourage me in my blog efforts and embrace my presence even though they are more busy than I could ever imagine. I love them. I left their office to go hop into one more precious office before I left Haleyville. That's when I saw her. This angel girl who I met in my very first visit to Haleyville. Jodi Trulove doesn't know it, but she was the reason I felt comforted in a foreign environment that day. It was actually my first day in the field with my new job, and this beautiful, blonde-haired, chevron shirt wearing ANGEL of a woman shared her sincere smile with me and was so kind. I felt at ease. She was sent there to comfort me in a place that I felt so new and alone. She was my angel that day, and she was my angel today. She greeted me with a smile when I walked in and proceeded to encourage me in my blog efforts and tell me what a blessing it is for her to read. I left that office with a feeling rushing over me that the Lord has been so present all day. Through every person I spoke with today, He spoke so clearly.

My precious Kristy Nichols that I wrote about recently called me tonight to discuss a tragedy that had happened in her life and all of the things surrounding it. We worked through it together and I hope that I said things she needed to hear. In true Kristy form, caring about the ones nearest to her, before we hung up she said "I just wanted to call and tell you I love you and you mean so much to me." There are tears on my cheeks now just thinking about her selflessness. Here she is, dealing with tragedy, and all she wanted to do was to call her friend that lives two states away and tell her how much she loved and valued her. This girl, you guys. I can't say words that explain her. But I am writing in to BRAVO to let them know that she and her husband need to star in their own reality TV show and it needs to be called "Nichols and his Dime." You'll fall in love with her, too, no doubt.

I was at a stoplight waiting to turn on to the interstate when I got a text from Shondell. I met this girl my first day at church in my new town. She intrigued me. She was strong and peaceful. Her resolve was unlike anything I had really ever seen. She was immensely protective of those near her and her focus was relentless. I liked her but I was afraid of her. Over time, Shondell and I became friends. We ate sushi tonight and talked through life things. It's moments like these, when our purpose is to help people see things through outside eyes instead of the rose colored glasses that they're wearing, that God speaks through us and to us at the same time. There are things I said to Shondell tonight that I needed to hear myself. Revealing conversations. They're the best.

Today was so full of blessings that I can't really name them all but I wanted to mention these people and their importance in my life today. Another blessing that was sent my way today were the two sweet dogs I rescued from a random Haleville parking lot. It was on the ten minute drive to the vet that I realized their significance in my day ... not just my significance in theirs. They were there today to remind me that life is fragile and we really need to love on our people. Help where you're asked to help ... serve we're you're asked to serve. Don't turn your nose up at those in need of help, because without you they may never reach their place of refuge.

Enourage the hearts of others. It doesn't have ot be over the top or something you aren't comfortable doing, but encouragement is so needed and most of the time COMPLETELY unexpected. There's a ray of sunshine in you that the world needs to see. Let it shine!

#30DaysOfThanks Day 11: Work & Food

Today I was blessed so much by a precious office in Winfield, Alabama that invited me to their Thanksgiving party. They turned a regular lunch into family time. I felt as though I were truly sitting around with old friends, chit chatting about football and life and the like ... when we weren't talking about work things of course. The ladies in this office taught me things about football and making cakes in the microwave with only cake batter and sprite ... THEY ARE A BUNCH OF GENIUSES. It was amazing. 

But what they did for my heart was more than they could've ever expected to do even to fill my stomach with their amazing cooking. We each wrote things we were thankful for, put our musings in a bucket, and then we each chose a different one from the bucket and read it aloud. As luck would have it, the doctor got mine. He's a huge Alabama fan and my card said I was thankful for "Auburn Football," among other things.  He, of course, read it aloud as "Alabama Football," and we all had a good laugh. That stinker. 

The thing they did for me today that resonated so much was that they treated me as if I belonged. Even though I was a stranger to most of them,  they embraced me as one of their own. You can call it southern hospitality, but I say it's because these are the hearts of caring people. 

You see, I've been in Pharmaceuticals for over a year now and what blows me away more than anything is that these precious offices never stop caring. The angel doctors and nurses that I speak with everyday are inundated with paperwork and tough patients and sad stories and so many hurdles that are so tough emotionally, and still I am greeted like I am one of their own when I walk through the door. I hope they know that their hospitality and caring speaks volumes and volumes to me. 

So a message to the offices across the nation who spend lunches and such with representatives, your hospitality and caring face means more to us than you know. We respect what you do and are blown away that you are able to care about us after what you do. You have a job that can be emotionally grouling and yet your smile seems to never fade. You are a strong people. May the Lord hold you up through all your days.  

#30DaysOfThanks Day 10: Veterans.

You sacrificed your time with your family. You trained for this and you wanted it more than you may have ever wanted anything. Your family watched as you graduated from basic training with tears in their eyes. Tears of pride. Tears of joy. Tears that are filled with the knowledge that your graduation from some of the most grouling contests you've met to date, only meant you would meet a more grouling battle in the future ... but this time the enemy would be real. You moved to a far away place, most likely, and you trained with your closests new brothers for your tour of whatever far away land you would be sent to. I hope each of you know that even then, you were our hero. Because you stepped up to the plate. You knew what was immenent and you made the choice to be a defender of freedom in the face of whatever adversity you would meet. You knew you could make no stipulations. You stepped up to the plate anyways. You were our hero, even then.

And then you went. With all your fears and all your special memories in tow, you went. You got on the plane and you went. I can't imagine what was going through your mind. But I'm thankful for your untamed bravery. I'm thankful that you chose to go and fight for freedom for millions of people that you've never met ... because above all else you understand that freedom is what this country is made of and you have taken on the responsibility of protecting that even though no one forced you to. You are our hero.

You stood on the front lines with some of the best men you'll ever know. Knowing that through some power within you, you would stand together and fight evil back to the gates of hell. Whatever war you were in, whatever cause you faught for, your efforts and your love for your country and your bravery will be forever celebrated. Those of us who have never faught will likely never know just how much you've been through, but you can rest tonight in the knowledge that there's a girl somewhere in Alabama that is praying that you only remember the victories and not the hard times.

Even now, years or months after you've returned, the things you saw there may try to take up space in your mind rent free. Know that you're our hero now, too. I want you to understand the depth of your commitment means something to this nation. The things you've gone through are appreciated more than you'll ever know by people you'll likely never get a chance to meet. You're our hero now, too.

Thank you, American Servicemen. Thank you for whatever it is you've placed your brave self in front of and conquered so that I can live a life that isn't dictated to. Your heart and your bravery and your sacrifice and the sacrifice of the ones you love ... You're golden. And I can't thank you enough.

So to you, brave heros, may your days be long a prosperous and may God be the shield that protects you all the days of your life. Thank you.

#30DaysOfThanks Day 9: Family Portraits and Dad's that Grill

I'll make today's short and sweet since my day has been full of driving and spending time with family and taking pictures and eating and getting nails done. #busy

I was stressed. I didn't have time today to be driving across state lines to do things but I'm so glad that I did. Today was spent with the most lovely family in the most lovely field in what seemed like a far off land. But it wasn't. It was right in the middle of Senoia, Georgia where every movie on earth is filmed it seems. I was self conscious. I hid behind people because I don't like cameras unless I'm operating them. But we had a grand ol' time and I wouldn't change any of it.

And then we ate. I ate a steak as big as me becuase I had forgotten to eat lunch and my dad is the best grill master aside from my Papa and step dad that the world has ever seen. It doesn't hurt that he has a Big Green Egg that he uses to grill on, but he still knows how to grill juuuuuust right. I was blessed with lovely food tonight with my people whom I've missed in a big way.

I could've been extra stressed about the drive over and back and the late night that I will most certainly have to prepare for all my meetings tomorrow, but the Lord allowed me a perspective I wouldn't have had without His guidance. And it certainly was the MOST beautiful day .

#30DaysOfThanks Day 7: "Because it's not over yet."

"It's been a bad day. No, no it hasn't. But it has been rough so far..," she said. 

 We met in July in Dallas at an interview event. Instantly I loved her and hated her at the same time. I didn't hate her, really, I just thought she was my competition and she was seemingly making a much better impression on my possibly-soon-to-be-new-manager. They talked and laughed like they had known eachother for four million years. Like they were old pals ... knee slapping funny joke telling friends. Like they went way back. 

 Turns out they did. They had met in college and she had married one of his best friends and he had married one of her best friends. But most importantly, she wasn't interviewing for my terriory ... so it was ok for me to like her. I am competitive. Type A with a smallish amount of Type B in my personality. I don't lose well, and I didn't want to lose to her. Luckily, neither of us did. After a GROULING three week wait, we both got a call with a job offer. 

 We kept in touch for months until we went to training in New Jersey and galavanted up and down the streets of New York like we owned them. She's my laugh when I need one, my outside perspective when I'm looking at things through rose colored glasses, my glass of wine when the day calls for one, but most importantly she's one friend I hope I never lose. 

 She's one of the people in this life that the Lord has appointed as an encourager to my heart. From the beginning of training she told me things like, "I can see you as a product manager some day. You get things I didn't get until I had been in the field for years. You have a strong presence and you're going places." And I believe she meant every word ... but even if she didn't, she still took the time to encourage someone that she only barely knew. She really has a heart for people. 

 A few things I can tell you about Kristy are as follows: 

 - She has three kids, who really couldn't get any cooler. 

 - I hope my relationship with my future husband is as open and loving as hers is with her beloved.

 - She meets no strangers. Everyone loves her. 

 - She's not afraid to ask for something she wants. 

 - And there is not another soul on planet earth that watches more reality TV and knows more about each character and where they live than she does. Joan Rivers died when we were in New Jersey ... it was a situation for Kristy. "God rest her soul." 👆👇👉👈

But today she took me to a whole new level of Kristy that I love. When she told me about her rough day and said she didn't want to call it a rough day, I didn't understand. "You know, it's healthy to call things like you see them. If it's been a bad day, call it a bad day. It's important to differentiate between these things," I told her. "But Ryn, the day isn't over yet. There's still a possibility that it will get better so I'm not putting a label on the whole day just because it's been a rough day up until this point," said Kristy ... with more sureness in her tone of voice than I may have ever heard.

 "You just made your way into a blog, my friend." 

 She's right, you see. Because TOO MANY TIMES we label projects that are half done as "too difficult" or "not going to turn out well" ... when we don't even know what God has planned for the remainder. He's a God who finishes things. And granted, He may not finish them as the world may expect ... but He finishes them. We can placed a knowledge-like faith in that. The author and finisher of your faith can also be the author and finisher of whatever struggle your in the midst of. And by finisher, I mean in God's way. He will lead you to do what you need to do and what is best for you. Listen to what He speaks into your spirit.

 Rough marriage hump? God authored it, He can finish it. 

 Terrible grades in school? God authored it, He can finish it. 

Tough relationships with friends or family? God authored it, He can finish it.

 We need to rest in the fact that He is capable way beyond what we are capable of. He will blow your mind if you let Him.

#30DaysOfThanks Day 8: The Power of Thought & New Rugs

Before she got glasses and braces she didn't care much about soccer. She went to practice, played in games, did what she had to do but wasn't really into it. And then one day her twin sister complained that she couldn't see in class and they both went to the doctor. Turned out, she was the one who needed glasses ... not the twin that originally complained. A whole new world of twindom.

You've heard of Liv & Maddie? I think those are their names anyway. It's a Disney Channel sitcom with twins that are total opposites. One is glamorous with all sorts of aspirations and is the president of every club in school, while the other glasses wearing twin is the sporty one who is opposed to all things glamorous. A modern day Mary Kate & Ashley situation, you might say. And OH WHAT AN IMPACT.

She immediately identified with the sporty twin and decided she would be sporty and pour herself into soccer. It was a major change because this was the child who grew up in dresses and matching everything by choice. A flipped switch. Suddenly, she's the best player on the field. She went from uninterested and going through the motions to MVP.

What REALLY made the difference? Was it Liv and Maddie? No. It was her decision to be the best. Her decision that being sporty and being good at it would be ultimately rewarding ... that's what made all the difference.

The power of thought is more powerful than any of us really understand. To expand on that, I've had lengthy conversations with loved ones recently about the decisions of others and the habits of others that impact us. I grew up in a divorced family so I figured out really quickly how to find the best in both arguments. One thing I think we fail to consider is that the actions of others, although they may directly impact us, are not always done in malice toward us. What I mean is best described in a hypothetical situation. Let's say I have a roommate and we share a bathroom. Every day and every night, I brush my teeth at the same time. Not knowing that my teeth brushing time in the morning is making her late to work because she is having to wait on me to finish and at night it's making her late to go to bed which in turn makes her wake up later in the morning ... making her even later leaving the house. Maybe that sounds crazy, but it works for this argument. After a few days of adapting to each other, I'm struggling with changing my teeth brushing time and she has a decision to make. She can either be patient while I adjust, or she can let her blood boil and think that I'm just doing all this to make her mad. Your response to others can change the outcome of situations or arguments. We all have habits and things that are difficult to change. And while habits are difficult to break, sometimes all the other person needs is to see you trying to help accommodate them.

So today's message is this: the way you choose to think about things can drastically change your life and everything in it. When you choose to step outside yourself and consider the reason for the decisions of others, you're not only making moves to come to a mutual decision ... you're showing love in a whole new way. Maybe you're working through a disagreement. Maybe there's someone who makes decisions you don't understand at work or in your circle of friends. Consider the origin of their thought process. Maybe they have a hard time managing several friends at a time and it doesn't mean that they don't love you, but they get overwhelmed when there's too much information in front of them. Maybe in their last job, they were expected to make certain decisions in certain ways and it's deeply ingrained within them to do certain things. Please understand, this isn't a message that presents the argument that you should "bow out" or be a push over. It is a call for consideration. Consider where decisions and reasoning patterns originate, and use what you've discovered to help you come to a fair rebuttal that isn't combative. Love overcomes everything.

Also: my mother spent the night with me last night. We shopped today and bought a new rug for my living room. While she was here she discovered that I am apparently OCD. "You have things a little perfect in here, don't you?" I had no idea. I just really enjoy organization and I think it's good for my soul to bring every room to "ready" when I leave it so that I don't have to fix it later. OCD may be a strong term, since it is a medical diagnosis and all, but I discovered something new. Over the past year, living by myself in a whole new town miles away from loved ones, I've changed and morphed into the Ryn that RYN is comfortable with. You see, I'm a pleaser. I try to make decisions that please others. It's wonderful and debilitating at the same time. Part of the growth that I've experienced is that I've come to the realization that while I can try to please people all day long, people aren't always going to reciprocate. And that's okay. Also ok? Being unapologetically yourself even when it isn't appeasing to others. Not that my overly organized home would be unpleasing to others ... but if it was, I would owe no one an explanation. It isn't a defensive stance that I take on this, it's more of a comfort in your own skin that we all deserve to have. No one in my family in Tuscaloosa ever expected me to be something that I didn't think represented my soul, but this move has given me the opportunity to really get to know who I am. I'm still working on it, but God has shown me so much in such a short time.

Discover who you are. Decide who you want to be, and go be the best you that you can. You were created with a specific purpose. Live it out loud. Decide who you want to be and go be it. And if need be, buy yourself some glasses.

#30DaysOfThanks Day 6: Pep Talks on Irritable Days

We all have those days where we feel less than adequate. You know ... those days where you feel like everyone is doubting your ability and your imaginary octopus arms are being pulled in all opposite directions and you know that just as soon as they let go you're just going to spin out of control? That was me, today. I wanted to cry and scream and beg for mercy and show the world that I'm not only capable but good at the things I do. My brain hurt and I wanted chocolate. I wanted enough chocolate to fill Legion Field AND the BJCC and still have some left over. But I sell a drug in the diabetes market, so I thought better of that.

And then she called. One of my seven, YES 7, business partners called to talk to me about a few projects that are in the works. She heard it. My frustration was all over the tone of my voice. My normally quick-to-answer, silver-lining-pointing-out, love-to-strategize brain was DONEZO. "I hope I'm not adding to your frustration," she said. On the contrary, she has no idea just how much she relieved it. 

"Ryn, you are capable ... So strong ... So impactful ... So business minded ... Your presence is strong and so well received ... And you have an approach that nobody else has. I can promise you that you have nothing to worry about in regards to the opinions of others. You're a natural and people know it." 

I. LOVE. THIS. LADY. LIKE. SHE. IS. MY. SISTER. That conversation literally turned my day around and my afternoon went off without a hitch. Even better, the office staff in my precious offices followed up her encouragement with encouraging words of their own without even knowing that I needed a pep-talk. 

See, the Lord knows exactly what we need to calm our spirit. He knows how we operate best and He can manipulate situations to help you out, you just have to trust. 

He's really, really good ... All of the days. But most days we fail to look closely at how He works to benefit us. So that's what I've made this thirty days of thanks about. I'm thankful for my wonderful family and friends, but I think that this year the Lord's actions in my every day life need more recognition. So for the next 24 days, you get a front row seat to the happenings in my life. Not that you care to know or that I'm airing a reality show about little ol' Ryn ... But I do hope it motivates you to look every single day at the silver linings that God places in your life to cushion your days. He's real, real good. 

#30DaysOfThanks Day 5: Unintentional Detours, dirt roads and four wheeldrive.

I had a real opportunity to get highly perturbed this morning. Roada (my GPS) and I were navigating to a particular pharmacy that I needed to call on with my job. She took me CLEAR to the middle of nowhere in Chelsea, Alabama. As soon as I turned into a neighborhood per her instructions, I thought to myself, "Oh dear God, no. Don't TELL ME I drove all this way for this and waisted all this time." And instantly, almost like God thought it for me, a sensation came over my spirit that said, "Maybe there's something God wants to show you." HONEY I WAS NOT PREPARED.

Roada says to me, "In 1/4 mile you will need to get out of your car and walk to your destination." ... In the middle of a culdasac ... In a great neighborhood ... With no apparent roads other than those I was driving on. I'm sorry, what? But I parked my car in a culdasac and walked around the corner and there, in the most perfectly manicured field surrounded by leaves of every color on the trees around it, stood the most magnificent horse and gorgeous barn that I had ever seen. (So beautiful, in fact, that I've already commissioned someone to build it in my future yard. But I told them I could only pay them in baked goods. There are good people surrounding me in this life.) 

But it all stood there, in all it's significant glory, and I couldn't help but think to myself what an amazing message that was. Just as that strong stallion stood there, unmoved and not at all alarmed by my presence, with his mane blowing in the wind and surrounded by signs of the changing seasons ... So too does the Lord. He's not at all alarmed by the things that change in our life. His position on things is unchanging and He makes His presence known by his steadiness and His strength. 

And that BARN. OHHHH, honey that barn. Fantasmic. I have to make up words for how amazing that bad boy was. But that horse stood there as to say, "Welcome! Isn't it pretty? I made it just for you." More amazing than we can imagine, more surreal than our eyes could handle. That's what Heaven will be like. (And apparently Laura Beth Cooper will be sitting at the feasting table eating a Chick-fil-a sandwich. Gotta love that girl.) 

I tried snapping a picture of it all but I could only get this much. 

And then as I was talking to someone today regarding faith and humanity and the human condition, a friend said to me, "It's like driving a four wheeler down a dirt road. It's going to happen ... You're going to veer off track ... But you must keep you gaze on the road and always try to get right back on track." I LOVED that. See guys, the thing is ... We are human. And I won't make that an argument because I don't want people to have an "out" to make purposeful mistakes, but I do want people to understand that your past and your future will never change your value to God. But your value to God should change how you operate your life. And if you feel called to missions, start right where you are. Let people know first of all that they matter to you. They will have no reason to imagine that their maker gives a rip about them if they don't think you care about them. 

I love days like these. So full of accidental lovelies. You have to make a point to stop and smell the roses. And I challenge you to stop yourself before your frustration ensues and remind yourself to pay attention, because God could be trying to show you something masterful He has made just for you. 

He's big. He's real. He's holy. He's love.  And more than anything, He's personal and He wants you to embrace Him personally. 

I have a friend Terri who tells me all the time that I'm the most joyful person she's ever met. I have to credit it all to the maker of Joy. He's capable. I am only capable of what I trust Him with. Trust Him today, friends. ❤️❤️

#30DaysOfThanks Day 4: Waiting Rooms

 It's been a day of hurry up and wait. I had breakfast this morning with this wonderful office in a small country town just north of Birmingham. I had to hurry because there was a small mishap in the breakfast caterer but I made it and it was the most beautiful meeting. The physician was a missionary in Indonesia and was such a cool man to talk to. I got to talk to his staff for an extended period of time and absolutely fell in love with their hearts. What a heart for people! "We love on them. We cry with them. We laugh with them. We pray with them." As if cinnamon crunch bagels weren't enough to make my morning so bright I needed shades, the lord saw fit to include me in conversations this morning that made me melt like Alex Mac. (Nickelodeon, circa 1998)

And then the waiting. 

As I waited in one of the busiest family practice offices in Birmingham, I saw human interaction that made my heart smile so big it showed its gums. (I don't know, it sounded good.) Strangers helping strangers. Strangers telling strangers their life stories and receiving sincere hugs and prayers in return. 

It's a beautiful thing, waiting. So many times in life we focus on what we need to do so much during our wait that we forget to pay attention to things around us while we wait. Maybe you've been asked to wait wherever you are in life to learn from your surroundings. And likely, like in this case, you'll watch from the sidelines and have minimal (at best) dealings with the situation you're observing. Pray for guidance and patience and willingness to sit and learn. Maybe God has you where you are to show you something very significant. My waiting experience today was important to my heart because it showed me how vitally important vulnerability and openness to others is. 

Open your hearts to new experiences and pray for the patience to wait and a keen eye to learn while you do. Wait patiently. Wait joyfully. Wait faithfully.  ❤️

#30DaysOfThanks Day 3: Calendars & Besties w/ babies!

All my life I've loved a calendar. And now that I have seven business partners, I understand the absolute necessity of a good calendar and a pencil with a good eraser. Can I tell you how much glee comes forth from the depths of my soul when I sit down with my coffee and my calendar? It's a fierce amount.

For weeks I had planned this past weekend and was so excited about it. I was able to stick to every single planned event and the weekend went off without a glitch (also without a red bull ... But I digress.) 

It was a beautiful weekend. Full of family time, time with old friends that make me laugh until I cry and come up with the most unimaginable hypothetical situations ... Which makes me appreciate planning even more because "WHAT IF?!", and time with new friends who blessed my heart with their wisdom and heart for missions. I sit and think sometimes about how blessed I am with all the people in my life and I'm just in awe and I wonder what I ever did to deserve to amazing love and laughter. 

Added to this glorious weekend, my best friend found out that her miracle baby that she has prayed for for such a long time is a GIRL!!! Someday I'll blog their testimony for you if they'll let me, but it's beautiful beyond words. I cried big ugly alligator tears and screamed like an idiot when I found out.  

Natalie and I have been friends since we pledged Delta Zeta together at the University of Alabama. We had a hitch in our little giddy-up because of some extenuating circumstances, but our friendship is so strong now having walked through fire together. She has a resilient spirit and it's one that I learn from. Her persistence for the things that she wants is unreal. But her faith in God is what blows me away. And recently, within a timespan of two weeks, the Lord blessed that amazing lady with her dream job and the baby girl she has dreamed of for years. 

So the message for day 3 is this: First, buy a calendar and use it. God is a God of order and we were created in that image. It's in our nature to crave boundaries and stability and order, but we have o create it for ourselves and be self reliant in that regard. But make room for change, because He reserves the right to move things around. And secondly, don't you dare ever give up on the things you want. God wants you to have the desires of your heart. You just have to place them in His hands and not pick them back up. 

So much love to everyone I spent this last weekend with. You have made me extra tired, but mostly extra joyful. ❤️

I asked my facebook friends for chalkboard calendar ideas last week and told them that I wouldn't DARE DIY this project because it would turn out looking like a Starty Night painting. But I think the picture below is a project I can champion like a boss. So glad I found one!!! Do you have any ideas other than this? Share! (PLEASE. SHARE. I AM DESPARATE.) 

#30DaysOfThanks Day 2: Casseroles and Stained Glass

Today was my grandparent's church's "Heritage Sunday." Which meant people. And food. Really good food. An abundance of really good food, and lots of it was all mixed together to form the most glorious casseroles that ever have been. Thank you Jesus for southern cookers and their ability to create casseroles than have magical powers. Like the power they have to make me want to start really running again to lose all the weight brought on by the casseroles. The gloriously wonderful tasting things were there in abundance and you can't say "no" to such wonderfully prepared food.

Also, stained glass. The lady at the church who ran children's church had the BEST lesson. (I learned so much. Does this mean I'm a child? Whatever. I'm comfortable in my childlike faith. JESUS calls me to it anyways. But I am sad I missed out on the stained glass project that the kiddies got to prepare during big church.) The lesson went something like this (and I will use quotations losely because I am paraphrasing, but nonetheless, here goes) :

"Do you see these beautiful stained glass windows? Look really closely. Do you see that lots of the pieces are oddly shaped and some have jagged edges and broken pieces? But when they are placed all together they create this beautiful masterpiece? That's kindof like us, isn't it? We aren't perfect. We make mistakes and have jagged edges, but God still uses us and loves us because we fit perfectly into His picture."

I KNOW. I KNOW. WOW. 

And then tonight as I shared this story with my wonderful, grace speaking, lovely hearted John, he pointed to the fact that sometimes "edgy" and "different" works best for the situation God calls it to. 

You see, the person you are is always of value to God. And because of His position and His ability, it DOES NOT MATTER where you've been or what you've been through. He still loves you, and who you are is still of value in His plan. You are beautifully imperfect. Perfectly real. And you are made whole through the body of Christ. So if you're out there, spinning your wheels trying to make yourself perfect ... Quit it. Your wholeness has already been argued for and the verdict has been decided in your favor. You've been fought for, and won. Now you get the wonderful opportunity to worship your rescuer. And the same one who rescued you will fill your life with more LIFE than you could've ever imagined in your wildest dreams.