Enormous Strength, Tiny little muscles ...

This post is dedicated to two of my dearest friends who have been through a heck of a lot in their twenty-something years. Jill and Kimberly lost their sweetest loves all too soon. I have had the blessing of being their friends during those trying times in their lives and the strength that the Lord gave them through those times was more than an inspiration to me.

Psalm 27:5

  "He will surely give me shelter in the day of danger; He will hide me in His home; He will place me on an inaccessible rocky summit."

For starters, I'll tell you Kimberly's story. This girl, y'all, has got more spunk than anybody I know. When she and her sister were very young their beautiful mama lost her battle with breast cancer. Really I should rephrase that ... I don't ever think anybody necessarily "loses" their battle with cancer, but rather wins a heavenly battle. That pretty lady gained wings and a perfectly new heavenly body void of pain and sickness ... that's a win in my book. But it left two sweet baby girls on this earth that sure missed her. But I think her spirit lives through them. I've never met her, but I feel like I have. Both of her pretty ladies are so strong willed and have such strong family values. It has truly been an inspiration knowing them. 

A few years back their sweet family lost another great love in Cody Hayes. I met Cody maybe twice and still felt like I knew him so well. What a precious person he was! He loved him some Kimberly Brackner, too. Cody and Kimberly dated for five years and had planned to get married. One night as Kimberly was driving home with some take out for Cody, she got the most dreaded call of all. Cody had been involved in a terrible accident and was headed to the hospital. Cody passed away that night, but his spirit never will. What is most inspiring about this story is the strength that God placed in Kimberly's heart that still lives on to this day. She's resilient. She's spit-fire. She doesn't take any crap from anybody. She's absolutely a strong woman and the Lord knew what He was doing when He put Cody and Kimberly together. They were a great match. They were so blessed with a love that was so raw and open and precious. It was the type of love that some people don't ever experience until they're much older, or sometimes never at all. I know that God has a man of the same strength planned for her future and that He's preparing his heart for her. She really does deserve the sweetest of hearts and the strength of an ox. She's been so strong for so long and I pray that God brings the perfect man into her life that will fit just exactly like the best fitting glove. I love you, girl! You are such an inspiration. 

Psalm 59:9

"You are my strength. I watch for you. You, God, are my fortress."

Another friend of mine, Jill Shelton, has a similar story. Only in her story, she was blessed with a wonderful love that passed away from cancer only a few short years after they met. When Jill and I met she was engaged to a man that she had dated for years but she always felt like there was more. I knew it too. I like to think that I encouraged her to break from the relationship because I knew that God had bigger plans for her, but I'm not sure my words impacted her decision. She left that relationship and found Ross. God knew exactly what He was doing. She and Ross had a great love. They loved being with each other and had a fantastic relationship. Not long into their relationship Ross was diagnosed with cancer. He underwent procedures and it seemed that the cancer was gone. Sadly, that wasn't the case. That sweet couple fought that nasty disease for the next couple of years and grew so close as a result. I remember praying for a peace beyond Ross's understanding that would show him a love from a heavenly father that he had never known. I woke up at 3 am one morning with streaming tears and i got down on my knees and I prayed the most fervent prayer I have EVER prayed.

 "God, reveal yourself to Ross in a way that he absolutely cannot refuse. Wash your peace over him and Jill and resonate your peace and love in their life and make this pain seem like such an earthly thing. Make your heavenly peace be the one thing that pushes them forward, because God that's all that matters."

I got a call a few days later from Jill, who was as ecstatic as she could be considering the circumstances, that I will never forget. Ross had gotten saved. He had accepted the love of Christ in his life and he felt like a million pounds had been lifted off of him. You see, Ross wasn't raised in a family that attended church and was never really open to the idea. Ross was very smart as was majoring in the field of biology at the University. I think Ross wanted to explain the world. I think he wanted to figure it all out. That's a huge task. Tiring, too. He gave it to God and accepted His peace and felt liberated. Jill's faith never wavered. Through it all she knew her savior was real, she knew He was there, she knew He would not leave her, and she KNEW that His peace would prevail. 

Not long after I got that call, Ross was taken to Hospice. He and Jill spent their last days together basking in their love and in the love of a living savior. I probably drove her nuts calling her every minute but I hope she knows that it was just an effort to show her my love and not to drive her crazy. After a few days in Hospice, Ross went. But he left a strength and a love in Jill and in that family that they will never ever forget. What an amazing guy he was. So caring, so sweet, so much fun. I remember first meeting him on the bench outside of Roger's library. He helped me study for a test that we would be taking in the next thirty minutes and I'm convinced that he helped me get an "A." He had a great way of helping people. The sweetest of spirits. 

Psalm 28:7

"The Lord strengthens and protects me; I trust in Him with all my heart. I am rescued and my heart is full of joy; I will sing to Him in gratitude."

To you ladies, I say thank you. Thank you for being strong. Thank you for not giving up. Thank you for showing me the strength that you have. You both have been placed in my life to show me what it means to fight the hardest of battles and still thrive. You are truly amazing women and I am so proud of the women you are becoming. I pray that God continues to place His strength and His peace in your hearts from now until forever. I love you!!! 

Entirely Humbled. Entirely Provided For.

Philippians 4:19

"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."

Yesterday was one for the record books. From waking myself up laughing hysterically at my dream to meeting the sweetest new member of the Hamner family, the day was completely filled to the brim with sweet moments. I think it was partly because I promised myself as I was drinking my coffee that it would be nothing less than fair, but mostly because my God is much bigger than any circumstance I could ever encounter. Please know this ... I'm no Bible thumper ... I just believe in a sweet sweet Savior and I make a point daily to praise Him and I enjoy sharing His promises with as many people as I can. 

I ran into so many delightful people yesterday from so many walks of life. It's refreshing to know that there is more than one type of person in the world. You never realize when your actions are going to speak directly to the heart of another, always be mindful that you have an impact on others. I met several people yesterday that will never know how much of an impact they had on me. One of the most note able is a sweet message that I got from my friend Dusti that made my day and she has no idea. I met her through a very unlikely source and through the strangest of circumstances she has become one of my dearest friends. I thank God daily for her friendship. She's one of the strongest people that I know and I'm very blessed to have her as a leader in my life. She's one of the many people God has placed around me & I'm so thankful for their placement in my life. 

At the end of the day I got a message about a bill that I owed. Now, it wasn't impossible for me to pay it, but I am moving in two weeks (shocking, I know) and I have so many expenses going out and it just seemed like everything was mounting up to an impassable road block. Within five minutes of receiving that message I received a random gift from a complete and total stranger that was almost the exact amount that I owed on the bill. If that's not God providing, I don't know what is. It provided way more than financial help. It provided a hope for the future that I really can't accurately explain. I sometimes get so frustrated with things in life and I move my eyes from God and try to fix it all myself ... and then things like this happen and it's like God takes my face in His hands and says, "Calm down, baby girl, I got you." He totally does. He's got us. Heart and soul. He's got us. And He's not letting us go. Oh how blessed we are to have a Father in Heaven that won't let us go. Take some time to praise Him today ... He certainly does deserve it. 

Little Nuggets of Happiness

I'm playing catch-up again ... go figure. Saturday was the longest day EVER at work and I wasn't in the best of moods. I was SO ready to get off work and go home and go to bed. During the middle of the day my mom called and asked me to take my sister out to dinner and hang out with her until she got home. I was irritated because I had other plans but I agreed. I'm SO glad I did. I picked my sister up and took her to dinner and out to Target ... amidst all the flipping traffic ... and we had the best time. Emily and I haven't been able to really let loose around each other in quite sometime but we were able to Saturday night and I'm so glad. I don't get to spend much time with her because of my job and her school and I sincerely miss her. The Lord allowed me some precious time with her Saturday night and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

On Sunday I had a VERY full day. For starters, I was late for church. I'll blame it on Natalie because, A.) I asked her what time it started and she told me it was the regular time, & B.) She made me late because I had to go to my moms and get my Christmas tree that she and Rusty are borrowing. It's whatever. I'm not stressin'. After church we, along with what I'm certain was the entire rest of the Valley View congregation, went to La Fiesta for a scrumptious lunch. As we were walking in somebody honked their horn as loudly as they could and scared us to death ... it was Brother Billy. Gotta love him. After lunch we trekked over to Northport and spent some time with my Nana and Papa while we got my Christmas decorations from their house. I don't get to see them much, either. It was so nice getting to spend some time with them. I sure do love them.

When we got back to Natalie and Rusty's we decorated for Christmas! It was nice because I'm moving in the next few weeks (shocking, I know) and I doubt I'll be decorating for Christmas amidst all the moving hustle and bustle. Once we were done putting up decorations we got a good bit done for the business which was good because we have a show this weekend! Stoked.

After I left Natalie's I went and spent some time with my adopted family and they cooked me a DELISH dinner. I complained a tiny bit yesterday about never ever stopping ... but I learned something today. I'd much rather be busier than I can handle and have little to no sleep than not have a thing in the world to do. Thankful to my heavenly father for days that are filled to the brim. Blessed.

Psalm 100:4

"Enter His courts with Praise."

Just keep swimming ...

This week has been entirely exhausting. It's been lovely ...  but SO tiring. I feel as though I never stop ... Work all day, work all night, go to sleep, wake up, do it again. I'm so thankful for the lack of idle time in my life but sometimes I just get tired. Not everybody is as blessed as I am to be able to own a business with their best friend and really never argue about anything. Even if we do ever argue we're back laughing hysterically at each other the very next minute. I think the thing that keeps us so close as friends and as business partners is the fact that we have surrendered these efforts to the Lord and He has complete control. We have had constant business for weeks and each time we turn around He showers us with grace.

A little history behind this forever friend...

She hated me when she first met me. With good reason. We met the first day of sorority rush in 2005 at the University of Alabama. We were at convocation in the conference hall at the Ferg and we were seated right beside each other because of the alphabetic order of our last names. I had attended high school with the girl right beside her and was chatting it up right across her and never said a word to her. Sometimes I'm a jerk and I don't mean to be. We ended up in the same Rho Chi group and ultimately in the same pledge class. Through the weeks and months that followed we built a friendship like no other. I've never laughed harder with anybody, fought (our fights aren't really fights) harder with anybody, or acted weirder (aka like myself) with anybody. Whenever we fight it's not five minutes and we're back laughing even harder than we fought. You know ... it's a funny thing, these friendships. My best friend, Jana, that i wrote about a few days ago, has and always will be one of the greatest friends I have ever had. Our friendships are just as strong, yet as different as night and day. I'm one blessed girl to have had such amazing ladies in my life as friends.

Through the years that Natalie and I have spent as friends we have laughed, we've cried, we've fought, we've gone our separate ways and come back together, but the most note able thing that we have done together is that we've grown together in Christ and He strengthens our friendship on a daily basis. He has led this friendship to new levels and continues to amaze me every day. Big "ups" to the big Guy upstairs for a gold medal friendship that He has more than blessed my life with. Her family has become my family and I don't know that I've ever known a more genuine and kind hearted group of people. I sure do love you and and I am beyond thankful for each and every one of you! Thanks for loving me and accepting me as one of your own! I love you guys!

A Family, Blessed.

Thanksgiving has always been such an exciting day. The beginning of the Christmas season, lots of lovely food, a trip to Birmingham to visit a family that I don't see nearly enough, and entirely too many casseroles (jk ... there's no such thing.) Today's day of thanks was supposed to begin with a 10 k race in Birmingham, but with my mom commuting daily to Birmingham I decided to run my own race in my own neighborhood. So, for this Thanksgiving, I started my day with a VERY hilly 6.2 mile run. It was a rough one but I had good company with my Aaron Keyes YouTube channel streaming constant worship music. After my run I went home and got ready for a scrumptious lunch with my mom and sister at Hotel Capstone (which was insanely delish.) After all that activity, a nap was DEFINITELY in order, so I took one ... for three hours. I needed to rest up for one eventful evening.

For years when my mom and Bubba were married we would go to Birmingham and have a fantastic dinner with the enormous Patton family in the basement of a beautiful house nestled in the hills of Hoover. The amount of dressing alone would baffle you. It's a huge family. I've always looked forward to visiting with this sweet family. There were a few years that I wasn't able to make it for various reasons and it always seemed like there was just something missing ... Thanksgiving just wasn't complete without my trip to Aunt Judy & Uncle DD's. A few years ago I started being able to come back regularly and have SO enjoyed it each and every time. It's so great visiting with people that I don't get to see often enough and it's so amazing watching all the little children grow up! I am so thankful for this sweet family and for the amazing tradition that we carry on each and every year. Thanks to everyone for keeping this tradition and for holding it just as close to your heart as I do! Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! It was SO great seeing all of you!

I'll fix my heart on righteousness, I'll look to Him who hears me.

"Oh praise Him, Hallelujah, my delight and my reward. Everlasting, never failing, my Redeemer, My God!"

Psalm 62

Trust Only in God

For the director of music. For Jeduthun. A psalm of David.

62 I find rest in God;
    only he can save me.
² He is my rock and my salvation.
    He is my defender;
    I will not be defeated.

³ How long will you attack someone?
    Will all of you kill that person?
    Who is like a leaning wall, like a fence ready to fall?
⁴ They are planning to make that person fall.
    They enjoy telling lies.
With their mouths they bless,
    but in their hearts they curse. Selah

⁵ I find rest in God;
    only he gives me hope.
⁶ He is my rock and my salvation.
    He is my defender;
    I will not be defeated.
⁷ My honor and salvation come from God.
    He is my mighty rock and my protection.

⁸ People, trust God all the time.
    Tell him all your problems,
    because God is our protection. Selah

⁹ The least of people are only a breath,
    and even the greatest are just a lie.
On the scales, they weigh nothing;
    together they are only a breath.
¹⁰ Do not trust in force.
    Stealing is of no use.
Even if you gain more riches,
    don’t put your trust in them.

¹¹ God has said this,
    and I have heard it over and over:
    God is strong.
¹² The Lord is loving.
    You reward people for what they have done.

Listen to the Aaron Keyes version here. 

I've focused this blog on so much of what I'm thankful to God for what He has given me and surrounded me with. I've yet to thank Him for just being Him. For being my rock. My fortress. My defender. My safe place. For being only thing I ever have that is completely constant, never moving, consistently fulfilling. Humbled today that He holds the power to bring me to my knees to worship Him, but waits for me to recognize that HE is God and that without Him my life would be utter chaos. Thank you Lord for loving me. For allowing me the freedom to praise you through storms, through sunshine, through every season of life, God you never ever change. Thank you for letting me praise you through a crazy long run this morning. For giving me the strength to finish it. For being the GREAT I AM. 

You are sovereign over us and we don't deserve your love but you constantly pour it out over us, regardless. Your plans are still to prosper, you've not forgotten us. You're with us in the fire and the flood. Faithful forever, perfect in love ... you are sovereign over us. 

Even when the enemy meets with evil -- you turn it for your good. For your glory!

Even in the valley you are faithful, You're working for our good, and for your glory!

Psalm 91

¹ Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.^[a]
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

³ Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹ If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
¹⁰ no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
¹³ You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴ “Because he^[b] loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
¹⁵ He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

It's the purest form of worship ... to be completely immersed in the message and the music. That's how I feel most "at one" with God ... or in His presence. Hopefully this will bring you a happy little worship party on this beautiful day of thanks that we've been given. Get ya praise on! Know that you are loved and were created with a purpose. Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Playing Catch-up ...

For Sunday ....

Beyond thankful for another great day at trade-days! We have work tooth & nail for MONTHS getting ready for this show and it deffinitely paid off. Although next time ... we will bring camo.

For Monday ....

Blessed to have precious friends like Natalie, Jana, Amber, and Michael that pick me up when I'm feeling blue. Monday was such a rough day for so many reasons and the Lord gave me amazing friends that always know how to make my days SO much better.

Proverbs 27:17 
"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another"

Thanks so much guys, for reminding me that God's plan is the only one that matters! I needed you all and you were all wonderful! Thank you!

For Tuesday ....

Lovely little things that make my days so bright! One of which is the fact that I didn't have to be at work until NOON! I got a great run in and got lots of work done for the business. All around a very productive morning followed by a fantastic day at work!

Psalm 107:29-32 - 

"He caused the storm to be still, So that the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad because they were quiet; So He guided them to their desired haven. Let them give thanks to the LORD for His lovingkindness, And for His wonders to the sons of men! Let them extol Him also in the congregation of the people, And praise Him at the seat of the elders."

Open for Businesssssss!!!!!

For this day, the obvious choice is to thank a loving and gracious Heavenly Father for making this business possible and for providing opportunity to spread His word throughout several communities. "So ... What is Forty31?" ... Our purpose for choosing the name was the spread a message of hope, and The Lord provided us with several opportunities to do that this weekend! We are thankful for a successful first show, for learning what works best for a display, for learning what sells, for the chance to work together, and first and foremost for the opportunity to reach an audience that we normally wouldn't have. We are so thankful for all of our supporters and for those who believe in us and in our message! We need you and we love you! We are so excited to see where this business takes us!

"Hey, there's a deer coming today!"

I'm admittedly socially awkward. The problem is, I don't really know what it is that I do to be socially awkward until afterwards ... and then I'm like ... "Ryn, you're such a freak." Such was the case on one random day in third grade when a skinny little blonde haired girl transferred into my classroom. Now, to preface, there was a lady coming that day to share a baby deer that she was nursing back to health. She did this with lots of animals, she didn't just have a random deer that she had snatched up out of nowhere. That would be weird. When Mrs. Parton sat the new girl in front of me, of course the most natural thing for me to do would be to say, "HEY! There's a deer coming today!" As if she wasn't already terrified enough by the presence of a brand new school and all new faces, now she had to face a wild animal... day one. Bless her. Little did we know at the time that my random and ridiculous attempt at a conversation starter would spark a friendship that would last a lifetime.

From that day forward we were inseparable. Spend-the-nights every weekend. VBS almost every week all summer long. Beech trips. Birmingham shopping trips. Trips to market with her sweet mama. We did almost everything together and had the BEST time.

Her sweet family became my second family. Her mom and dad have always been so loving and supportive and I have loved having them as family! Her sisters, Marybeth & Kadileigh, were always so much fun. I remember going to their house for the first time and writing letters to Marybeth and putting them in her hello kitty mailbox. I though it was so cool that they had their own mailboxes. I'm not so fond of mailboxes now, for obvious reasons. I wish they still had the same implications. Swimming at Grandmother and Pappy's house was always SO much fun. I remember "laying out" (yes, I realize I'm a red head ... shhh) and getting FRIED the day before school got out and laughed at the whole last day of school for resembling a tomato. My bad. I figured freckles multiplied.

Through the years, that sweet family and exhibited so much to me that they don't even realize. They shower a Godly love over every person they meet. They are the most accepting and loving family and are so close knit no matter what happens. It has certainly been such a pleasure knowing them. Chase, Jana's husband, is the absolute best guy I could've chosen for her. They are so perfect for each other and have the most PRECIOUS angel girls in the world.

I think the thing I'm most thankful about is that no matter how much time goes by or space there is between us, Jana and I can pick up in conversation like we never skipped a beat. Thanks for being a forever friend and for loving me even though I'm terrible at starting conversations! :) I thank God for you and your sweet family!

Unconventionally Perfect

The last two posts have been pretty heavy laden with emotions so I decided to make today's post light and fluffy. You're welcome.

On day 15 I'd like to shed light on some members of my family that I don't get to see much but that mean more to me than they probably know. During the holidays, most of you probably go and visit your mom's parents or your dad's parents or your spouse's parents. Not me. Nope. We go visit my step mom's ex-husband's parents ... and it's my FAVORITE PART OF CHRISTMAS. Grandmother & Papa the Bob. They have the most cozy house filled with the most wonderful food, smells, people, & conversation around. Grandmother (Hilda) sure knows how to cook and I really wish I lived closer so that she could teach me more of her domestic ways ... since we all know how much I'm lacking in that department. Papa the Bob always has some crazy YouTube videos that are hilarious to show us and strangely enough they are ones that I've never seen. Andy (their son) and his wife Margie are so much fun to be around and so funny. Cindy (their daughter) is always full of information. I think I could probably ask her anything and she would know the answer. It kills me how domestic they all are. The last time I went to grandmother's she gave me a homemade lemon sugar scrub for my feet! I thought things like that were only made in factories ...

Truthfully my favorite part of this whole story is just how welcoming they are to my dad and I into their family. Grandmother and Papa treat my dad like he is their very own son and I know they'd have it no other way. It speaks volumes about their character that they've adopted us as family. To you guys it may seem like such a foreign concept, but to me it's just real life. They're as much my grandparents as my parent's parents were. I look SO forward to going to their house every time I get a chance to go and I wish I could go more often.

To Grandmother, Papa Bob, Andy, Cindy, & Margie: thanks for loving me like one of your own! Can't wait to see you guys again!

Truelove, Never been a more perfect name.

I've been gearing up to write about two of the most influential people in my life. They're really difficult to write about without an entire box of Kleenex at my disposal, but here goes nothing.

Today I want to introduce you to my grandmother, Anna Marie Truelove. Sweet name for a sweet sweet lady (if she liked you.) I gave you a tad bit of information about her in an earlier post, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. She had a giant personality and left a legacy that will resonate with me forever.

My grandmother raised three children by herself. My grandfather, Grover (... don't worry, future husband, I'm not attached to it) passed away when my mother was a year old from a heart problem. Grandmother was one of nine children and had  A LOT of brothers (I think that was why she was so tough.) She was always the care taker. When her siblings or her parents were sick, she always took care of them. She always made sure that loose ends were tied and that everyone had what they needed. She never really made it out to be a sentimental effort, it was just what she did. She surely was a good lady.

We all (the grandchildren) stayed with her when we were sick as kids. I'm not sure if this is a staple of their sick days at grandmother's house, but I certainly do miss those pan smothered greasy hamburgers and greasy fried french fries. As long as you're eating you're getting better, right? Southern ideology ...

I stayed with her a good bit when I was really young and she would take me back and forth to dance and piano lessons and made sure I was at all extra curricular activities that my mom had me involved in. After my various lessons, she would help me with my homework while she sat at her kitchen table and smoked (she was REALLY good at math.)

One thing that struck me as amazing about my grandmother is that she was able to have completely separately and equally as strong relationships with each and every one of us. She would tell me stories of Will and Isaac when they were little; about how COMPLETELY different they were, about how she and Will had such a strong bond and about how proud she was of who he had become (he WAS the first,) about how Isaac got lost in the woods and she went looking for him and when she found him he said, "well, I knew where I was the whole time!"  Katie was the first girl, so of course she was perfect (and still is.) Elizabeth looked just like her daddy, which made her perfect by default. Charles Michael looked just like his mama, also making him perfect by default. And NONE of us were to call her ANYTHING until we could say "Grandmother." That is until Emily came along ... and then "Maum" became acceptable.

Each of her children held a special place in her heart. All completely different, they were all so special to her and it was apparent in the way she cared for them and for their children.

She never got mad at Katie and Elizabeth for digging in her make-up drawer while we were having our "runway shows" in which they would dress me up, make me over, and I would prance my little self all through the den for all to see.

Tolerance. As intolerant as she was against people that she didn't care for, she showered her family with tolerance and was there each and every time we failed. No matter what we did, we knew Grandmother would always be there.

During my years in college I lived with her off and on. Some of my favorite memories include her sitting in her chair and me in mine, eating mounds of ice cream while watching re runs of  Law & Order, SVU. Now, some of you may have heard it being broadcast from her house because she definitely couldn't hear (much of anything) and went through earphones after earphones trying to find a pair that were loud enough for her to hear. It was a lost cause, but it made her feel better. We didn't say a word to each other, we just sat there in silence ... together. I think that's really what mattered to her. She wouldn't ever let anyone know that she was ever lonely, but I could always tell how much it brightened her day when friends would stop by or when her family stopped in. She was okay with being by herself, which I think is one of the big reasons that I'm comfortable with alone time now. She, in more ways than one, has shaped the woman that I'm becoming and I hope I'm making her proud.

She and my Memaw LOVED each other and they shared a favorite hobby, smoking. I can remember my Memaw riding home with my dad and I one Sunday afternoon because they wanted the chance to visit. Memaw had been made to quit smoking due to a health decision and when my grandmother asked her to smoke my Memaw said, "Well, I had to quit. But that doesn't mean I couldn't just eat one WHOLE right now." They shared a quick wit. I hope I inherit that.  

I loved our outings to the hair shop, SAMs, Wal-Mart, Belk(s), Morrisons (where we always had a window seat,) the fabric store, the book shop (she LOVED to read,) to Food World, to Burger King (where her eyes were ALWAYS bigger than her stomach ... but man did she love her a big ol' Whopper,) and our late night outings to TCBY (~white chocolate mouse with walnuts~ where I would have to sneak and pay because she just wasn't having it.) My favorite memory is when she took me to the liquor store when I was four. Chill out, she just needed rum for her rum cake. I sure won't ever forget any of it and I will forever treasure those memories.

She gave great back massages and every time she did she would rub my face and point out my "tiny" nose. My nose is huge, bless her. She knew how bad my neck problems were and never complained or acted irritated. One night I was in so much pain and she could tell so she told me to come and sit at her feet so that she could massage my neck. " I wish I could take away all your pain," she said. Immediately the tears started flowing. I knew it was true. She only wanted the best for us.

The first time I ever saw her cry was when she was in rehab after her stroke. She wasn't crying from pain or because I hurt her feelings, she was crying because she was so upset that she couldn't do for herself all the things that she was used to being able to do for herself. Independence was her second middle name. That's the kind of spirit that I want to shine through me. That strong, independent, loving, caring, and determined spirit that she so well exuded. 

 During her passing I swear her spirit moved from her body into mine. I was living with her in her house when she passed and I know that a ton of people had to be praying for me because I continued living there throughout the fall of the year and never felt alone. It hit me that she was gone the first time I walked in the living room and sat in my chair and she wasn't in hers. I won't say it wasn't hard, but i will say that God put some of her strength in me to get me through that. What a tough season of life it was for all of us.

Now that I've babbled forever in a random maze of stories about that amazing woman, hopefully you were able to follow and gather just how great she was. So, on day 14, I dedicate this day of thanks to one of the most influential women I will ever encounter. Thank you for being yourself. Thank you for being what I needed exactly when I needed it. Thank you for being what you were for each and every member of this family. Thank you for never stopping the fight until the Lord called you home.

Tonight, through these flowing tears, I hope you know that I miss you more than you know and I'll never stop. I love you lady. And there's not a day that goes by that I don't wish you were here. I'll never forget you. Fly high, sweet angel.

Sportin' some Dolce & Gabana glasses that I brought her back from China town in New York. I still have them :) they're missing a lens.

Thing 1 & Thing 2

Hurricane Ivan may have claimed lots of loss throughout the southeast, but it saved the lives of two of the most precious people in my life. Cameron and Caroline, my eight year old twin sisters, were supposed to be born 10 weeks later than September 17th ... and thank God they weren't. I sure hope I tell this story correctly. Melanie, I'm sorry in advance if I botch it up a bit.

First of all, Courtney and I called it the night they told us.  We KNEW they were having twins. They didn't believe it. We found out for sure one day while we were at Centrifuge when they called to let us know. Also, the entire state of North Carolina found out that day as well from the shear volume of my squeals.

A few weeks later I got a call that I will never forget. My dad called to tell me that they had been to the Dr. and that the twins had a rare condition called "twin to twin transfusion syndrome." The likelihood of survival was less than stellar for one baby and very low for the other. I remember being in constant prayer. By constant prayer I mean, "Please Lord, I love you so much, please let my sisters be okay. Please let them be okay, Lord I love you so much. " I heard myself repeat it so many times that it's still ingrained in my head today. I was terrified. I'm sure Melanie was too, but she's not one to show things like that to her kids. She's always so strong.

In the weeks following the diagnosis, Melanie (in true form) started scouring the Internet for specialists. God brought her an amazing doctor, and friend, that would help her through the remainder of her pregnancy and ensure that the health of both babies was up to par. A few things Melanie had to do (for MONTHS): drink terrible horrible protein shakes, lay on her left side (ALL DAY LONG,) and do very little strenuous activity. By the end of her pregnancy, she was DONE with daytime television and completely knowledgeable about all sports in the summer Olympics. Poor thing. She was certainly a fighter, and doesn't take "No" for an answer very easily.

The weeks and months went by and the health of the babies seemed to be moving right along when one night as they were laying in bed watching TV(during hurricane Ivan,) the labor began. Way too early, it seemed at the time. This happens a lot of times to women in late term pregnancy because the barometric pressure drops. When the babies were born it was revealed to us just how perfect God's timing is. Caroline wasn't getting enough nutrients and wouldn't have survived too much longer in the womb.  Both babies weighed in at less than two pounds and were in the hospital for months. My dad was so precious when he would call the hospital "just checkin' on his angels." That's exactly what they were (are.) Angels. God knows exactly what He is doing. 100% of the time.

Of course Melanie, being the researcher that she is, had chosen an amazing hospital with a NICU that was state of the art. I remember my dad coming to watch me dance and bringing one of the small diapers like they wore (WHICH WERE TINY) and then showing me a picture of how they looked on the girls. The pictures really put into perspective just how tiny their little lives were. But they had their Memaw's spirit. Boy did they fight.

They came home months later with all sorts of cables hooked to them to a crib that dad and Melanie had rigged up to look almost like the side of Mount Everest (for their acid reflux.) Tiny little girls that made life so very different. What an adjustment it was. What a wonderful, taxing, beautiful adjustment.

Now, eight years later, they are PERFECTLY fine. Most premature babies suffer developmental issues such as issues with eye sight, learning disabilities, etc. I'm so happy to say that these sweet girls have perfect eye sight, they're smart as a whip, and growing like weeds. Melanie told me not long ago that she still keeps up with the Dr. that was so helpful to her during her pregnancy and sends them pictures. What a blessing that has to be to that team?!? God is definitely working through them in more ways than they know.

Hopefully I didn't tear the story to threads, and hopefully it blesses your heart to know just how big God is and just how PERFECT His timing is. I was riding with my dad one afternoon discussing with him just how many of my professors were atheists and explaining to him how much it concerned me. He understood that in my field (biology) that wasn't a rare stance, but then he said something to me that I carry with me daily. "The proof of God is in those two little girls in the back seat." And OH how right he was. God is SO big. And MAN is He good?

So today I thank Him. For saving their precious lives. For helping my dad and Melanie and Courtney and the rest of my family through the biggest adjustment they had ever been through. For giving them the personalities that they have. For giving them each other to play with, entertain, challenge, laugh with, grow with and for their sweet big sister that is closest to them in age for caring about them so much. (She walked them to their kindergarden classroom when they started school, hung up their back packs for them, and made sure that they were ready for the day before she ever went to her class room. Nobody asked her to do it ... she just did. She's two years older than them. She has one of the most tender hearts.) This family, Lord, is one for the record books, and YOU are the reason for that. I love you so much for surrounding me with these amazing people.

 

That "Noah & Allie" type of love...

Special thanks to my Nana and Papa today for being awesome examples of a forever love. Through the years they've been a very big influence on me in terms of their relationship not only with us but with each other. Now, that's not to say that they don't sometimes get just about 100% fed up with one another, (we call it The Nana & Papa Show,) but they always forgive each other and keep on with that Noah and Allie type of love. They met in high school and have been inseparable since. It's great to hear them tell stories about them when they were dating and about when they were the youth directors at their church and so on. It seems like such a foreign time to me, Nana & Papa ... dating?!? It's precious watching them be there for each other as time goes by. Through thick and thin they are always there for each other and for their family. Recently my Nana had emergency appendix surgery (aka the Dr. TOLD her to go to the ER and that they would admit her for surgery, and she said ... "Um, I'm sorry. I have a hair appointment. We're going to have to reschedule.") and Papa cancelled all his plans and paced the hallways of that hospital until she was back in the room. "You better take care of my baby," he told the nurses. I sure hope my husband still calls me baby after 49 years of marriage. Not long after her appendix issue, Nana had her knee replaced. Every night, my Papa went and tucked his love in and helped her get ready for the next day. It says a lot about their love that it survives it all. Through all they've been through, they've stuck it out together and I've been blessed to witness it. They truly are wonderful people and I am certainly one of the most blessed grandchildren on this earth to have them to look up to. I love you guys!   

Honoring all who have served. What a sacrifice! Thank you!

"O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife.
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life!
America! America!
May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness
And every gain divine!"

What a beautiful way to describe what our heroes do on a daily basis for you and for me. This is my favorite part of "America the Beautiful." It's the heroes of this great nation that make it the greatest place on earth to live. I am so thankful to my friends who have served and to their families for making that great sacrifice. You guys are the reason that this country is able to thrive and that it's citizens are safe inside it's walls. You deserve so much praise and thanks and today is your day, but we thank you EVERYDAY for what you've been through, what you train for, what you prepare for, what you're willing to do, what your families endure while you're away, and the multitudes of friends that you've made while in service that you've fought beside. We certainly salute you today and pour out our appreciation and love over you and your families. 

To the current members serving and to those who have served before, we pray for strength, courage, peace, resilience, love, purpose, and for the Lord's strength to carry you through all of your endeavors.
We love you.
God bless you all, and God bless America.
 

Ephesians 6:13

"Therefore, take up the full armor of God, that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm."

Day 10: Eezer Weezer, She's no skeezer

For my tenth day of thanks, I'd like to thank the Lord for my beautiful sister Emily. What a precious heart she has. She and I were never really close until I went off to college because I was always focused on other junk rather than focused on being a good big sister. I prayed and prayed for a little sister and finally when i was 9 she was born! Little did I know that I'd be blessed with four more sisters eight years later. Be careful what you pray for! Sometimes God provides an over abundance. Not in this case ... they're all wonderfully perfect in their own way and I'm so thankful for them all.

This sweet girl sure has been through the ringer and has been a fighter all the way through. She and I have gotten through some tough stuff together and she has shown me a true sense of a fighter. I love her and I'm so blessed to have the title of her big sister!

She's "tetched" by the Holy Spirit. I swear she's an Earth Angel.

I always tend to be a day behind in my blog endeavors. Oh well. For my ninth day of thankfulness, I'd like to thank The Lord for a very special lady. Mrs Jean Bolin.

Just a bit of background about her: she's awesome. Mrs. Jean worked with my grandmother for years and I've known her since I was wee little. She moved here with her husband and children from Ohio a long time ago and has since made her home Tuscaloosa.

Now, to tell my story I first need to tell you about my sassy grandmother. That was one lady that was "spit-fire" as they say. She raised three kids right by herself and worked her fanny off to make sure they grew up with the things they needed. She was one of the sweetest ladies you would ever meet but she sure wasn't inclined to go out of her way for you if she didn't like you. It's just how she was. When Mrs. Jean and my grandmother first met at work, my grandmother set the tone real quick that she "wasn't-a-gonna-have-no" new girl taking her place. Mrs. Jean isn't the tallest of people, so when she and grandmother met my grandmother looked at her with a straight face and said, "Built a little close to the ground, now ain't ya?" Mrs. Jean thought to herself, "Lord have mercy what have I gotten myself into?" That little encounter pretty much set the tone for their friendship. My favorite thing about Jean Bolin is that she is as sweet as sweet water taffy, & also just as tough. She's one to tell you exactly how she feels about something, and it always starts with a pointed finger and ... "Now, let me tell ya."

We pretty well got each other through one of the hardest things I've ever been through, and she doesn't know it but I'm convinced that the Lord put her in my life at the time that He did for a very special purpose. One Thursday afternoon as she was visiting my grandmother something scary happened. All of a sudden my grandmother lost the use of the right side of her body. Having worked in the medical field for a very long time, Mrs. Jean knew immediately that it was a stroke and called 911. My grandmother was in the hospital for a very long time and then went from rehab to rehab for weeks. Mrs Jean's devotion to her friend never wavered. She was there nearly every day to help her and keep her company while the other family members worked and went to school. A funny thing happened throughout those weeks in rehab. My grandmother, never one to really laugh a whole lot and cut up with you, became the jolliest of souls. Those were the last weeks we would spend with her, and boy did The Lord make sure they were some of the best. We laughed, we cried, we kept grandmother from throwing pillows at the nurses, but through it all we gained a bond that would build a friendship that I will never ever duplicate.

Mrs. Jean, you are one of the most special people in my life. Thank you for opening your home to me. Thank you for making me feel like I had a home when a lot of times I didn't feel like I did in Tuscaloosa. You truly answered a call from God through all you have done for me and for my family. There is a very special place in heaven for you. I love you and I miss you!

Day 8: Bonnie & Clyde's

Today I am so Thankful for a bar that once resided in Tuscaloosa by the name of Bonnie & Clyde's, without who's existence I might never have come about. My parents met at this place, randomly. I have thought so many times throughout my 25 years, "what if my parents had never met?" There's really no other way that they would've met. So the randomness of this place is sort of beautiful.

On to my next thankful point of the day. I am SO thankful and blessed to have the dad that I have. Let me tell you, if there had been a medal ceremony for "dad of the year" my dad's neck would be broken by now from all those gold medals. I'm a sap. Whatever. He deserves it.

That man would do ANYTHING for his children. As I was growing up I would go and visit my dad every other weekend. He would drive from Birmingham to get me in Tuscaloosa and then we would make the 3 & 1/2 trek from Tuscaloosa to Valley, Alabama. During those 3 1/2 hour car rides I learned a heck of a lot about life, and unfortunately Paul Finebaum (ugth.) My dad always spoke to me like an adult and it's shaped the way that I've conducted my life. We had all sorts of meaningful chats on those rides back and forth across this beautiful state. Talks about football, about school, about how reputation isn't something you can gain back once it's lost, about how high school is only four years of your life that nobody will ever remember, about how important it was for me to NOT be a quitter, and about how big God is. I can remember the first time my dad told me that God was so big and powerful that He could move mountains if He wanted to. My mind was blown. I think it was in that moment that my soul was humbled to His majesty and filled with an overwhelming sense peace that He loves ME. I can remember listening to TONS of talk radio, which is why I think I'm a talk show radio junkie now. He never hesitated to give me tough love, but he didn't have to often. I always knew what was expected of me because he made it VERY clear. That's another reason I think he's a great parent. My sisters and I know what he expects and we know he only wants the best for us.

While I was in high school I was on the dance line. My dad would come over and watch me dance EVERY weekend, even if it wasn't his weekend. He made the four hour drive to Tuscaloosa to see me dance for 12 minutes, get the chance to talk to me for about 45 minutes while we ate dinner together, and then he would make that that four hour drive home. Now, let me tell you, if that's not a good dad ... I don't know what is.

He has ALWAYS had such an impact on me and on the way I live my life. I don't know that I've ever voiced just how much I love and appreciate him, but I have certainly thought about it A LOT.

Thank you, Daddy, for being the type of dad that the Lord would have you to be. You answered that call above and beyond and there aren't enough words to tell you just how much you mean to me. I don't get to spend as much time with you as I think both of us would like, but I want you to know that I sure do love you and I miss you every day! You are a good man, a good dad, and a most importantly a good person. I love you and I'm thankful that God made me your daughter. 

Twenty-two, twenty-schmoo ... Happy Birthday to You!

So thankful for my beautiful sister Courtney and for her special day!!! Ill never forget the first time we met, wore wigs, and danced the night away with neon lights in the background (in her bedroom.) Tina Turner will never know just how influential she was in our bonding. I promise to wear a wig and sing Proud Mary at your wedding and make a fool of myself. As long as you promise to do the same.

You are a beautiful lady and you inspire me so much! I'm not sure there ever have been two more opposite siblings, but I think that's why we work so well! You're SUCH a hard worker, so smart, so great with kids, so ambitious and not scared of a single thing. God knew what he was doing when he put us together!!! I love you and I hope your day was just as special as you!

Remember, Remember, The 6th of November

Soo ... what's important about this day? Well, it's National Nachos Day ... for one. It's fitting, it seems. Because, guess who's vote counted, America? Nachos. Only joking ... Don't start a political rant on this page. It's also National Constitution Day, ironically enough.

I'm thankful today for a heavenly Father that knows EXACTLY what He is doing. I'm thankful for the friends of mine that have fought tooth and nail for my right to vote. I'm thankful to the men and their families who perished recently overseas, for putting this country first even when it didn't put their safety first. I feel somewhat thankful for the Mayans and their predictions. Joke. I'm mostly thankful for my religious and therefor political convictions. I'm thankful that both my religion and relationship with my savior  teach me to humble myself to the plan of God. There are so many things on my heart tonight, namely the future of my country. To my friends and family struggling to find work but making too much money to get public assistance, please know that my prayers are with you, and my vote was for you and for myself and for the future of our children.

There is much in this world that is beyond our understanding. There is a future that we are unsure of. But just how beautiful it is that we may rest in the fact that the Lord's love endures forever and his mercy covers all things and his knowledge and plan are to PROSPER us and not HARM us. His will has been done. Our job now is to heed His word and His direction to ensure that this nation is one of prosperity and strength and that it holds fast to all of the foundations on which it was built.

"Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation. "
Psalms 146:3

God is SOVEREIGN. Let us not forget that. 

Cinco de Noviembre: Get ready, I'm on a soapbox.

I'm thankful today for a good, hearty raising. I'm thankful that I've been taught not to judge others. I'm thankful to have also been taught that if I do judge others, the polite (and socially acceptable) thing to do is to do so within my own thoughts. I'm thankful to have been humbled by others judging me so that I may know how it feels to be wrongfully and hurtfully judged. Praise God for those experiences, that I might think before I judge.

 This post is stemmed by something that I witnessed today and it sincerely took me by surprise. I won't broadcast what it is that I witnessed, but I will say this ... if you wouldn't judge someone for having cancer, then don't you dare judge someone for having a mental condition. Moreover, if you do judge someone for having a mental condition (I'll be praying for you) and you choose not to befriend said individual because of their condition, don't you dare broadcast their condition aloud in a public place to someone that you don't know. This post could get lengthy so I'll keep it short and sweet. I don't know what's going on in YOUR life just as you don't know what is going on in mine and neither of us have a right to judge. Maybe I'm preaching to myself a bit about my being judgmental, but I was very hurt today when a precious friend of mine was publicly degraded by someone who barely knew her. This person has children, a husband, family, and a loving and gracious savior who LOVE her unconditionally and the words that were said today would cause so much pain to those who love her. What if this happened to you? What if you were a victim of a condition that you've been trying to conquer for quite some time and some rando-shmando dogged you out to another rando-shmando? Try on the shoes before you try to walk in them, friends. This isn't something to play around about.

My friend Jana and I had a code word for gossip when we were younger. We would say it when either of us caught us gossiping to keep us accountable. We came up with it after one of the hundreds of VBS's that we went to summer after summer around town. "GS." If ever I was gossiping and Jana caught me she would yell, "GS, Ryn!" and point her finger in my face. I wanted SO BADLY to do this to this person today. Thanks, Jana, for always keeping me accountable.

Let me be clear, these aren't meant to be hurtful words towards the gossiper but instead to bring to light the hurtful nature of the conversation. You were a joy to talk to but you ruined the conversation when you began a hurtful rant toward one of the sweetest hearts that I have ever met. I do pray that in the future you think before you speak. I pray that I do the same and that if I in any way offended you, please forgive me. Let's all make sure to take the stick's out of our eyes before we start casting stones.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." - Philippians 4:8

"You shall not go around as a slanderer among your people, and you shall not stand up against the life of your neighbor: I am the Lord." -Leviticus 19:16